Episode 59: "GRIIT" — Growth, Resilience, Identity, Integrity, & Training [featuring Kelly Lynch]
Imagine what you could accomplish in your business if you didn't allow impostor syndrome into your life and if you acted in alignment with your values to fully utilize all the amazing skills and knowledge that you already have to create your dream private practice.
In this episode, I talk with Kelly Lynch, social worker, life coach, fitness and nutrition coach, and former EMT, about what it takes to be so aligned with your values, really know yourself, have strong resilience and boundaries, and not "feed the imposter syndrome beast" that you, as a therapist, can be a stellar clinician and private practice owner and live as the best version of yourself. Kelly also shares how she broke down all the steps needed to achieve this with her program, GRIIT, and what led up to its creation and success.
More about Kelly:
Kelly Lynch is an EMT, Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Life Coach, Personal Fitness Trainer, and Nutrition Coach. She has been supporting humans through their journeys and challenges for over 20 years, beginning as an EMT in 2002, and moving into the mental health field in 2009. Kelly launched her private practice, Turning Point Wellness, in 2014, and expanded to a group in 2021. Kelly and her group specialize in Acute Stress and Post Traumatic Stress Injuries in EMS professionals.
Kelly launched The GRIIT Project in 2022, and offers life and business coaching through her transformational coaching system of GRIIT. With the five pillars of GRIIT – Growth, Resilience, Identity, Integrity, and Training – she teaches individuals how to identify and harness the expertise they’ve always had, so they can expand into the business and life of their dreams.
Kelly's Website: thegriitproject.com
A Thanks to Our Sponsor!
I would also like to thank The Receptionist for iPad for sponsoring this episode.
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This episode is sponsored by The Receptionist for iPad. It's the highest-rated digital check-in software for therapy offices and behavioral health clinics used by thousands of practitioners across the country.
The Receptionist for iPad is a simple, inexpensive way to allow your clients to discreetly check-in, to notify providers of a patient's arrival, and to ensure your front lobby is stress-free. The software sends an immediate notification to the therapist when a client checks in and can even ask if any patient information has changed since their last visit.
Start a 30-day free trial by going to thereceptionist.com/privatepractice. That's thereceptionist.com/privatepractice. When you sign up, you'll get your first 30 free days.
Hey, everyone, you are listening to another episode of the All Things Private Practice Podcast. I'm your host, Patrick Casale, joined today by a good friend and colleague, Kelly Lynch. She's up in Connecticut. She is an LCSW, an EMT, a couple of other acronyms that I'm not going to remember. And we're going to talk about her GRIIT program that she's creating and some of the cool stuff that Kelly has got going on in the world. So, Kelly, really glad to have you here. And I'm really excited to talk about this today.
KELLY LYNCH: First of all, thank you so much for having me. So, having been on a handful of other podcasts, it's always fun to get to come on and just, like, talk and you know, hang out with people that I really appreciate and value, but to also get to talk about the cool things that we get to put out into the world. So, thank you for this time.
PATRICK CASALE: Yeah, you're welcome. And, you know, I like to use this as a platform so that we can talk about a lot of things, the struggle, especially, but the cool things that we've created through some of the adversity, and I know you have a lot of cool stuff going on. And I've gotten to know you over the last couple of years. You came to Ashville, I've met you at so many conferences now. And it's nice to be able to become friends too, and then, watch each other, you know, the things that you're creating and the success that you're going to have.
So, you know, tell us a little bit about what you're doing and what you're creating, because I know your story. I know the audience doesn't, but I know you're an EMT. And that's a big part of your world, supporting people who are in the crisis environments all the time. And I really want to know about how GRIIT came to be, and what GRIITT stands for, and yeah, take it away.
KELLY LYNCH: Cool. Okay. So, it feels very bizarre to kind of run through my background and my story, because stringing it all together makes it make sense. But if we look at things kind of like just as standalone events, one does not necessarily fit with the next.
So, I became an EMT in 2002 after a family member had some mental health stuff that was concerning, and I wanted to help but didn't really know how beyond getting educated from a medical perspective, and then, also, with 911 happening. So, when 911 happened, I was living in Boston at the time. And it affected me in a way as it affected all of us. But it affected me in a way where I really felt like, okay, I'm here to give back for something greater than just me and my little corner of the world. And what can I do to have a positive effect?
I tried to join the military. I have a bad back, so the military didn't want to touch me with a 10-foot pole. They were like, "Nope, this is not going to be a thing." So, the next best thing in my mind was public safety and how could I get into that. And EMS made sense. I'd always been kind of, like, superficially interested in medicine, and what it meant to take care of people. And I ended up just falling in love with it.
So, I've been a certified EMT now for 20 years, which makes me feel so old to say that. And I was on the road in commercial EMS for 10 years before retiring from that. I maintain my card because in my therapy practice I specialize in public safety. And a lot of my clients really find value in that I maintain my certification even though I haven't been on the road in a long time.
While I was on the road as an EMT, I found that I just really liked working with people. And I did not to have a traditional like 9:00 to 5:00 desk job. I wanted to be able to continue to work with humans and to be able to support people in a lot of different ways as they kind of traveled through whatever their lives look like.
So, I joke with folks now that social work was my brass moment of life, it was my happy accident. I never really planned on being a therapist, but after getting into EMS, and like I said, figuring out that I like working with people, it just made sense that the end became a natural extension of being an EMS.
So, in addition to that, a few years ago, back in 20… between 2016 and 2018, I also became a nutrition coach, and a certified personal trainer, because it's something that not only is just important to me, personally, to have that kind of education as part of my own self-care, but to also be able to bring that into the work that I do with my clients from a clinical perspective of how can we create a really well rounded, holistic wellness approach as we support people in taking really good care of their mental health.
So, where GRIIT came from, GRIIT, it's so silly. I was taking a shower last year, and really just, like, thinking about how I could support somebody that was really struggling in what we were working on in their sessions. And first, I started thinking about mindset, then I started thinking about, okay, well, what comes after mindset if we're really getting that to work in a really smooth way, and resilience was the next thing. And then, what comes after that? And here comes identity.
And it started to unfold as I was taking a shower, that this is something that I've been doing now with my clients in a very particular order for my entire career and I had never named it. So, all of a sudden, GRIIT took place or took shape.
So, GRIIT stands for growth, resilience, identity, integrity, and training. And in thinking about how GRIIT came to be, right? Like in this very silly, otherwise benign kind of moment, I yelled for my daughter, and my daughter's name is Riley. So, I yelled for her. I was like, "Go get me a pencil and paper, you got to write this down." Because I was going to forget it.
And so, she was like, "Okay, crazy, mom, here we go." So, she went and got a pencil and paper, and she wrote it down for me. And then, since then, all right, this was last year, since then I've been taking this idea and developing it with clients, and seeing how much it makes things make sense for people, right? So, I work with people who are generally very concrete and think in a very linear fashion. That's the way that my brain works, too. And it took this thing that felt otherwise so abstract and unreachable for my people and made it make sense.
So, GRIIT then turned into a whole business and is now called The GRIIT Project. And it's something that I so deeply want to bring to professionals, and especially, therapists, you know, as we go through the process of running a business, right? Like, if we choose to go into private practice or even if we choose to stay in the public sector of mental health, there is such a level of drain put on us as clinicians to carry crazy caseloads, to do intense, deep, very intimate, and personal work and where do we get to put back into ourselves?
And GRIIT is a foundation of coaching that can really help guide people through not only promoting wellness, but also, building a solid enough foundation that we're starting to prevent burnout. So, that's my hope and my intention for GRIIT for therapists. Obviously, it's something that I'm also doing already with therapy clients. But it's something that once it clicked, I saw it and I couldn't unsee it.
PATRICK CASALE: Love that story, because I think so many of us who are entrepreneurial have had those, like, in-the-shower moments, right? Of like, oh my God, all of a sudden your brain starts really in that flow state.
And, you know, I know, you and I have talked about neurodivergence, and ADHD takes over, creativity comes in, and then, all of a sudden you can't unsee it. But then you're very, like, quick to say, but I could forget it very easily, too.
KELLY LYNCH: Right, right.
PATRICK CASALE: You had your daughter go and do that for you in the moment. So, with that being said, how are you noticing this is really helpful for helpers to say, like, if you think really linearly and concretely, how is this helping us kind of, like, break out of that thought process or at least start to take care of ourselves? Because, like you said, not in just the EMT world, but in the mental health world. The burnout rate is at an all-time fucking high.
KELLY LYNCH: Right.
PATRICK CASALE: And we have to be able to take care of ourselves holistically to have any self-perseverance or to have any longevity in these careers where we are taking care of other people.
KELLY LYNCH: Yeah. So, the thing about GRIIT is that it provides a structure and a framework that people can pull from depending on what they feel they need in the moment. One of the biggest things that I see in colleagues, especially, when it comes to burnout, and just even if they're not quite at the burnout point yet, but they're feeling like, man, there's an itch that I can't quite scratch, or I'm just tired all the time, or you know, I'm going from the frying pan into the fire, right? Like, maybe they're not there yet, but they can see that they're getting there, they can name certain things.
GRIIT provides enough of a structure where we can say, all right, I know I need different time management skills, or maybe not additional skills, but a different strategy. That's folded into parts of GRIIT. Or as we look at, well, everything, like, when we start listening to clinicians describe, "Well, in my personal life, everything sucks, it feels bad." Well, I'm going to go straight to how can we flip that to a growth mindset? And look at the reality of maybe there are some things that do genuinely just suck and feel bad. But what can we do to make that work for us instead of working against us, right? It's like we're trying to constantly swim upstream. Sometimes we just need to swim downstream a little while.
PATRICK CASALE: Yeah, I like that. That makes a lot of sense. And it's a good framework to kind of start to conceptualize the healing process in a different way, as well. I imagine you're seeing some pretty cool results then working with your therapy clients, and just seeing how you can kind of, like, tweak and use this mindset and this model as you expand into coaching, and I know you want to do, like, speaking engagements, and write a book, I believe, and a podcast, and all these things that entrepreneurs want to do.
KELLY LYNCH: Yeah.
PATRICK CASALE: So, it sounds like this can be really applicable for people who have these great ideas, but seemingly can't get out of their own way sometimes.
KELLY LYNCH: Yeah, you know, I would go to resilience in that kind of moment, and really look at just how do we structure out really strong self-care, thinking about self-care from both a relief and a reward kind of perspective, something that I've seen work actually really well for my therapy clients, especially. I coined something that I've presented to most of my clients at this point, that I call the rule of the 5B's, and that's the approach that I take for self-care with them. And the 5B's are your brain, body, bonds, beliefs, and behaviors.
And so, I teach about self-care from that perspective of that you don't have to hit on every single point every single day, right? Like, for most people that would be really unrealistic. But if we're hitting on at least one more often than not, right? Or like at least one once a day, we're doing generally pretty okay with stuff like that.
So, you know, being able to look at… and this is where, like, the nutrition coaching certification, and the personal training certification stuff, like that kind of stuff, starts to come into play when I talk about self-care from this perspective with a lot of people, you know?
There's, you know, how do we engage in thought-provoking activities? How do we tend to our relationships, including the one that we have with ourselves? How do we allow time and space for creativity, because this is then going to expand on, you know, the behaviors that we end up displaying in our personal and professional lives? And, you know, thinking about how do we ask for help from people? And how do we create connection and community?
One of the biggest things that I hear from clinicians in private practice is how isolated they all feel, because we're doing this by ourselves if we're solopreneurs, right? And even if you're in a group practice, if the group practice is virtual, there can still be a level of isolation that people experience.
So, being able to attend to bonds and really develop a community in a way that feels meaningful, there's so much value to all of this. But this is stuff that we don't talk about when it comes to self-care or at least we don't talk about it often enough.
So, I think that how we support ourselves as entrepreneurs and as creatives is by looking at a much broader perspective of what are we doing to really support and nurture us?
PATRICK CASALE: Yeah, I love that, because I think so often, you know, one, self-care gets kind of the eye roll and the bad rap of like, just taking pictures by the pool or drinks near the beach, and it's like, that certainly is a part of it, potentially. But everything you just named actually feels much more connected and important in terms of moving through the world in a way that life feels much more manageable and probably much more enjoyable and fulfilling.
And I just think that we so often miss the mark on that. And helpers tend to help everybody else before themselves. So, you know, when you just name the relationship you have not just with others, but with yourself, and intentional activities, and making decisions that are going to actually be in your best interest in your health and your mental health. I mean, that makes a major, major difference than just saying, like, just take some time off and don't work and like, go kick your feet up and take an Instagram selfie, and like, you'll be okay.
KELLY LYNCH: Absolutely, you know, that's a big piece when it comes, I think, to identity work. And that it's so easy to get wrapped up into this household culture, that, you know, so many people really push nowadays, and especially, as business owners. There's so much talk about the hustle culture. And you know, the more you hustle, the more successful you're going to be. But what's the cost of that, right?
So, something that I've actually recently started pointing out, again, to therapy clients and to some coaching clients is that the more that we can be aware of what our value system really is, knowing how individualized and subjective that is, but the more aware of our values we really are and make decisions from our value system the simpler everything becomes. If you're making a decision that aligns with what you truly value, personally, professionally, globally, right? Decisions become so much easier. And it becomes so much simpler to go and set those boundaries and create a community that does feel really aligned and manage your time in a way where you feel like you're prioritizing yourself, and the people that you love, and everything else that matters, right?
But those values systems are such a huge part of our identity. And it's so easy to lose sight of that as we get so wrapped up into trying to create something, right? But when we lose sight of it, we're out of alignment.
PATRICK CASALE: Yeah. And I find when you're out of alignment, like you mentioned, that's really when things start to unravel. Maybe that is when you're saying yes to things that you really don't want to say yes to or your boundaries are kind of being spread really thin, or you're overworking, and having a hard time stepping away.
And I can relate to that. Like, I'm, you know, pot calling the kettle black, so to speak, in some ways, but, you know, it's so crucial to be acting in congruence with your values and your beliefs, because otherwise, I think the stuff feels really artificial and it feels really forced. And I don't think that we're in our best selves when we're acting in ways that are of interest to everybody else or we're chasing something that we don't really believe in or we don't align with.
KELLY LYNCH: Absolutely. And then, immediately what popped in my head when you said that is that that's when we begin to resent the work and that's where burnout starts.
PATRICK CASALE: Yeah, absolutely. And I see so many people right now, and not just therapists. I mean, people, in general, are struggling, and stressed, and tired, and feeling overworked, and maybe underappreciated. And you're seeing this burnout, and this mass exodus of like, working for other people, which I love to see because I love that people are like, "I'm going to at least bet on me."
Here's the thing that people miss a lot of the time is like, you leave the agency job, you recreate the agency environment, and you're working for yourself, then that resentment just really boil out because it's like, "I did this. Like, I create my schedule. I look at my calendar tomorrow. I don't have any free time. I said yes to the things I don't want to do." And then, it's like, how do we get back to basics and in alignment with our values and our core beliefs?
KELLY LYNCH: Right, right, exactly. You know, and that's why I think it's so important to really understand how do we create a framework for identity, again, both personally and professionally, that really is in complete alignment with our value system, and then, make decisions from that place. Everything else just starts to… it's like a puzzle just coming together without even really trying. It just happens. It's so much easier.
PATRICK CASALE: And once that starts to happen, what do you start to notice? Not just in other people, but for yourself when the puzzle pieces start to fit together?
KELLY LYNCH: So, it's interesting that you say that, like for myself as well, because this is… So, I got divorced in 2014 and I left a pretty bad situation. And I sometimes will talk about it and sometimes will not. But there was some violence involved and I was very grateful and very lucky to have gotten out in the way that I did. And didn't realize, again, up until last year when GRIIT really started to take shape, this is something that I've and living myself since even before I got divorced and that GRIIT has been something that has helped me be able to not only survive something that was really traumatic and really a very dark time in my life but then, to be able to evolve into the person that I am today, where there's boundaries that are rock solid, there is…
I have a very small but very close circle of people that I absolutely cherish in my life, right? So, there's this very important community around me. And I know exactly who I am, what my purpose is, and what I do and do not want to commit to, right? And within that, there are skill sets that I constantly practice, because I believe that skill sets are perishable, right? Like, there's a lot of things that are not just set it and forget it kind of things, right? Like, we need to constantly be practicing communication, and boundary setting, because those are perishable skills.
But GRIIT is something that saved me from when I didn't realize that it was saving me. And now being able to offer it as an extension to other people, it just feels so powerful and so important.
PATRICK CASALE: Yeah, thank you for sharing that. And it's, you know, evident in knowing you that you've clearly done a lot of your own work. And I've listened to you speak and I can tell that your boundaries are pretty rock solid. And I like that because it sounds like you ask for what you need a lot. And I think a lot of us don't. And a lot of shamefulness can come up for some people too when we're going down that road. But I think there's a lot of resiliency in the story that you're telling and a lot of resiliency in the model that you're offering to teach and support others with. And I think that is really what helps us really bounce back from these moments where we don't think we have anything left to give, or we don't think we have anything left to offer. And whether that's business, personal, professional, it doesn't matter.
But so many of us have these stories inside of us. And so many of us really, unfortunately, don't use the skill sets that we have. And I do like that you name that they're perishable, because I think about that a lot. I'm like I don't like refine and like, constantly, train, or learn or grow, my brain just feels like it's just like crumbling in front of me. So, I know that as entrepreneurs we need to be constantly evolving.
So, tell me, you know, with this journey you're creating this idea, this system, and framework, imposter syndrome that comes up for you around, like, introducing something to the world.
KELLY LYNCH: Yeah, so it's funny that you bring up imposter syndrome, because that's something that I think is a very natural extension of the conversation of GRIIT. But I want to go the complete opposite direction and say GRIIT doesn't allow room for imposter syndrome, because I want to push there's a level of abundance inside of the system of GRIIT, of that GRIIT teaches you, if you're in alignment, literally, anything is possible, right? There's no limits. The only thing that creates limits is how you choose to set those limits on yourself.
And so, with that, right, I think imposter syndrome is something that we're all very normally and naturally going to experience at different times in our lives and our careers and for a whole lot of different reasons. But there's a level of abundance that I want to normalize by using GRIIT, like I said, because the only limits are the ones that we create, right? And if we feed the story of imposter syndrome, it's going to grow into this beast. But if we starve it, well, then what is there left except abundance?
PATRICK CASALE: I like that. Yeah, that's a good reframe for sure, because I know so many of us really struggle with that, especially, when we're thinking like, I want to think bigger, or I want to do this thing that I haven't done before. So, where that insecurity and that comparison can really rear its head. But if you're operating from a mindset and place of abundance the insecurity probably gets a little bit more quiet, because you're assuming that everyone can be successful. We can all do these things in a way that feels positive. And I think that feels really promising.
KELLY LYNCH: Exactly, you know, in listening to a few other episodes of your podcasts that have recently been published, one of the things that I've noticed is that people are pretty consistently and I think you said this, actually, in the most recent episode, that really nobody is saying anything new nowadays, especially, in a therapy world, right? Like, there aren't a ton of new theories being presented. There's not like brand-new ground-breaking research that's being presented.
So, it's a matter of taking the things that we already know, and stringing them together in new innovative ways to make this stuff really work for us and to evolve the things that we already know, to meet the needs that we currently have, because maybe they met needs in a different way 10, 15, 40, 100 years ago, but those needs have iterated themselves so many times over. So, the concepts are still good, we just have to take them and iterate them to meet the needs of today.
And, you know, that's what I've tried to do with GRIIT. I'm not saying anything new when it comes to the whole framework of GRIIT, right? Like, growth mindset is not something that I came up with. So, you know, when we talk about stuff like this, it's how innovative can we be to present old ideas in new ways that meet new needs, and they continue to help people really be able to step into their highest selves.
PATRICK CASALE: I like that. And it's really important for everyone listening to remember that, like, when you do get stuck in that perfectionism mode? Or what do I have to say? It's just about being, like Kelly is saying, innovative and thinking outside the box, and putting your voice to something, because we're not recreating the wheel here a lot of the time. It may seem like we have to in order to do something, but really, it's just more so about you telling your story with the thing that you're really passionate about.
And I think that's when the best work comes out, I think that's when the most creativity comes out, I think that's when going back to alignment when you feel most aligned with what's important to you. And we can really easily convince ourselves that like, "Oh, I'm not going to be able to be an expert at this." Or, "I'm not going to be good at this because it's already out in the world."
That doesn't really matter. I'd rather hear your take on something that's already been established, aside from you trying to feel like I have to… or I have to create or invent something that doesn't exist already.
KELLY LYNCH: Exactly. I can't tell you the number of times that I've heard from colleagues say, "Well, I have this idea, but so and so already presented it, and who am I to do it if they've already done it?"
And always the thing that I say in response to that is, "Well, but nobody has said it your way, right? And maybe your way is going to ring true in a way that for that one person who desperately needs your way, where everybody else who's already said it, it doesn't ring true for this one person who can only benefit from your way, right? And like your way is the way and there can be so many different ways and they're all correct, right? They're just going to fit different people's needs."
PATRICK CASALE: Yeah, exactly. That's really well said, because you can get really caught up in that. And that leads to comparison and insecurity too. And, you know, I think it's really easy to say, like, don't allow for that to take over, but then, a lot easier for it to actually show up and then, you know, become a roadblock or a barrier to pursuing the thing that you want to do.
And if you're an entrepreneur, solopreneur, you own multiple businesses, you're just thinking about starting a business or thinking about working for yourself, there's a lot of fearfulness in that, there's a lot of risk in that. So, you have to be able to absorb that risk. And also, do it in your own path with the way that makes the most sense for you. And I think we often lose sight of that.
I want to ask you about some EMS stuff, just always curious. It sounds like if you really love that world it's like I need fast-paced kind of chaos, like, it has happened all the time. Is that true? And has that helped you become a really competent business owner as well?
KELLY LYNCH: So, I joke with people that public safety is hours of boredom interrupted by moments of chaos. And especially, in EMS, because you could be sitting around for hours, right? And then, all of a sudden you have an hour of chaos if you're on a call. And, you know, I also want to emphasize that, you know, there's a level of desensitizing that happens when you work in public safety, to that chaos, you get very used. Like it just becomes baseline.
So, you know, I was a training officer for four years while I was still on the road. And I used to always say to new EMTs, "You have to remember that when you're responding to something, what you may consider a good call, right? Or, 'Good call" because you're really tasked to use your skill set in that moment is still somebody else's worst day." You know, and I think that that's something that as clinicians we also can sometimes lose sight of, of that what becomes very normal for us, because we do this all the time is still somebody else's, "Worst day."
So, you know, I think working in public safety for as long as I did, did help to kind of prime me for being able to handle some of the stories that people will bring into a therapy session in a way that we're not always prepared for, right? Like, we hear very intimate things and we're essentially perfect strangers that people are beginning to disclose their deepest, darkest secrets too. Working in public safety, it was an important stepping stone for me before I became a therapist, because I don't know that I'd be able to be the kind of therapist that I am today without having had those experiences.
There's a level of adrenaline that I definitely enjoy, to answer your other question. But, like, I'm not very risk averse. I wouldn't typically describe myself that way. There's a lot of things that I will go and do and try that a lot of other people will say, "Nope, not it on." But yeah, I think I'm answering your question.
PATRICK CASALE: You're answering the question, yeah, I was just curious about it. I imagine, you know, and that's such a good way to put it. Like, it could be hours of boredom, and then, minutes on into one hour of uninterrupted chaos of like, just like, okay, shit hits the fan and now you have to react.
And it's also interesting when you hear stories of like, okay, I'm going into EMS. That's what I think my calling is or my path. And then to not know then that that is the finish point, right? Like, for a lot of people in therapy right now, going into a community mental health job might be the end, that might be it, private practice might be it. You may decide you want to start doing other things. And it's really interesting how things start to unfold and become more clear as you kind of create more space for yourself and have more healing in your own journey and you start to have more clarity around, like, what really fuels the fire.
KELLY LYNCH: Within that, though, there's one thing that I think we all need to be aware of, is the Ross Geller moments of needing to pivot and to not fear when we have to pivot, right? Like, if there was one lesson that I could pull out of my time in public safety, that, like, there's so many lessons that I could talk about. But if there's one thing that I could say was the most important lesson was the ability to pivot at a moment's notice when you recognize that there's a need. And there's such a level of resistance that people can have to pivoting. But man, you don't want to miss those opportunities, because sometimes they are earth-shatteringly good. And it can feel really scary to pivot, because we're not necessarily going to always know what's going to happen because of that pivot. But that doesn't mean don't take it, sometimes we need to lean into that fear, because the fear is telling us proceed, proceed with caution, but proceed, right?
There are some things that I did when I was on the road as an EMT, that you have to make those split-second decisions and they ended so well, because of those split-second decisions. And that holds just as true in our personal lives and in our careers as clinicians as it does anywhere else. So, don't ever be afraid to pivot when you recognize the opportunity for that.
PATRICK CASALE: That's great advice. And we talk about that a lot on this podcast of embracing and stepping into that fear. And like you said, proceed with caution, don't do so with reckless abandon, but also acknowledging there are so many ways to keep yourself small or trapped in something and not be open to new opportunities because, "Oh, but I created the business name for this thing, or I just finished the website, or I like put so much work into this course." But if something new and exciting is offering itself up, it's important to be open into the opportunity.
And, you know, for example, my VA and I spent a lot of time over the last year creating this four-month Take the LEAP program, and we were going to offer it twice a year. And it was a resounding success and it just got finished. But she mentioned to me after Ireland of 2021, two? What year are we in? 2022? She's like, "I can tell that you're never going to do this again, are you?" And I was like, "Yeah, no, I'm not going to do this again." Like, this first launch will be the last launch.
And it's just because, like, you do have to pivot and adapt sometimes. And sometimes you have to follow what's really drawing you in. And you have to know why too. I do think that's where the values work comes in.
But I just noticed for myself, do I want to commit four months of my life at a time, you know, to going on this journey with 10 therapists? And the answer is yes, to some degree. But what was really exciting me and really energizing me was the retreat planning and the traveling, and helping therapists, like, have these experiences. And I just knew I couldn't do both. And if I did both, they weren't going to both be done well. There's a lot of fear there of saying like, "But we just worked for an entire year to create this thing." And had I just said, "Well, that's true. Let's just do it and just do it and do it." I think I would burn myself out. And I also think I wouldn't really be doing the therapists a service who I'd be helping.
So, pivoting is crucial in small business ownership, it's crucial in life. I mean, you have to be willing to take chances and I think we have to be willing sometimes to not think in black and white or binary and concrete thinking patterns too which I am guilty of as well. And I think it's been so transformational and transformative in general to allow myself to follow that fear and like embrace it, instead of shying away from it.
KELLY LYNCH: Exactly. You know, I think one of the most important lessons about fear is that it really isn't all that scary if you just look at it at the experience of fear as information, right? Fear is just a data point that provides us information about how to make decisions that are and are not in alignment, right?
And whether we're going to call it negativity bias as a primal instinct that we're all hardwired with or whether we call it our spidey sense, it doesn't matter what we choose to call it, it matters that you're paying attention to it close enough and often enough, that you can just take it and use it as helpful information, because at the end of the day, that's all it is, right? It's just something that helps us make choices that are fully in alignment.
PATRICK CASALE: Absolutely, couldn't say it better myself. Yeah, I think for those of you listening, you know, I think we so often associate fear with a negative phrase, or terminology, or thinking and it doesn't have to be negative, it can just be a teachable moment of pay attention to what's happening right now and evaluate it.
And that doesn't mean that it should shut things down completely. I think that so many of us have followed that or embrace diverse stepped into it and took that risk. And that's why some of this cool stuff is being created. And I think that if you allow fear to dictate circumstance, you really do keep yourself small in a lot of situations too.
KELLY LYNCH: Exactly, exactly. You know, one of the biggest things that I hear from colleagues who are wanting to either go into private practice and leave the public sector, or who have really cool ideas about things they want to create and put out into the world, you know, is the, "But what if I fail?" Right? And that there's this huge level of fear that we can all experience around, "Well, what if it doesn't work?" Well, I tell you what, I already have one business that I've closed. I started a coaching practice where I wanted to do life coaching for women leaving domestic violence, who were also single moms like myself. And the practice was called The Anthropology Project. And my whole shtick, if you will, was going to be that I would talk to women about how to stop apologizing for taking up space in the world.
And while I still love that idea, and it's still something that I actively talk about, especially, with my female clients, at this point that business didn't make sense anymore, for where I was starting to head to as of last year when GRIIT came to be. So, I closed it, right? And it was scary and sad to close it because it meant walking away from an idea that I felt really excited about. But I can feel excited about something without also having to say, "Well, I still have to do it." I can still call that idea into these other new things that I have. So, the idea can still happen. It's just not going to happen in the way that I originally planned.
PATRICK CASALE: Yeah, that's fantastic, because that's so true. And you can still be very passionate and a major advocate, and voice, and still have that be very much fueling. And also, know that that doesn't make sense for you at this point in time.
KELLY LYNCH: Exactly.
PATRICK CASALE: That doesn't mean you can't revisit it down the road, either. I think that's something that people need to hear, because letting something go, it doesn't mean it's failure, it just means that it may not be the right time in your life to pursue it. And that doesn't mean you can't circle back to something, either. Or it may mean you never circle back to it again. And that is okay, either way.
KELLY LYNCH: Right, right. The whole thing with failure is that we create these incredible stories around it and what we think it's supposed to mean, when just the same as I'd say about fear of failure, right? Because I really don't put a lot of stock into the word, it's just information, it's more information that we can then take to create even more aligned choices and actions as we choose to move forward with whatever feels important.
PATRICK CASALE: Yeah, absolutely. Love that, too. I really love this conversation, a lot of good moments of just something to reflect on for everyone listening, some of the things that Kelly's said, and just really reframing fear of failure, resilience, and aligning with your values. So, I really appreciate you coming on and having this conversation. And I believe wholeheartedly in everything that you're saying and that you're doing.
KELLY LYNCH: Thank you so much and thank you for the time.
PATRICK CASALE: You're welcome. Tell the audience where they can find more of The GRIIT Project and everything that you're doing right now so that they have access to it.
KELLY LYNCH: So, you can find my website at www.thegriitproject.com. GRIIT is spelled with two I's. And I am on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok as The GRIIT Coach. Actually, Facebook, I think my handle is wrong on Facebook, it might be The GRIIT Project, still on Facebook. It's [CROSSTALK 00:41:27] The GRIIT Project and The GRIIT Coach. That's where I'm at.
PATRICK CASALE: Follow Kelly for any of that information. That will all be in the show notes, too, so that you can access what Kelly's putting out into the world.
I just want to say again, thanks for coming on and just becoming a good friend this year. It's been a lot of fun getting to know you and I'm really excited to see where all of this takes you over the next, you know, year or two, and then, we can circle back and say, "Holy shit, look at everything that's come from this."
KELLY LYNCH: Exactly. And likewise. It's been such a pleasure getting to know you also and to be able to call you friend.
PATRICK CASALE: Thank you. For those of you listening, new episodes of the All Things Private Practice Podcast on all major platforms every Sunday. Like, download, subscribe, and share. If you want to find more of what I'm offering go to allthingspractice.com for upcoming retreats, podcast information, coaching programs, courses, and resources. You can also join the All Things Private Practice Facebook group if you are a mental health clinician or entrepreneurial therapist in the entire continent, all United States, Hawaii, Alaska, and all throughout the world.
So, happy to have you there as well. Thanks for listening. Doubt yourself, do it anyway. See you next Sunday. Thanks, Kelly.
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