Episode 110: Shaping Your Own Path: Self-Worth, Success, and Building a Thriving Private Practice [featuring Talia Bombola]
Do you ever feel trapped in the busyness of your business, driven by societal expectations and a fear of deviating from the norm?
In this episode, I speak with Talia Bombola, The Confidence & Assertiveness Specialist™, a Certified Psychodynamic, Licensed Psychotherapist, and Relationship Mentor for Women, about the ways in which we can align our decisions and actions with our true goals and values. We also talk about healing inner child wounds in order to combat self-doubt, perfectionism, and impostor syndrome.
3 key takeaways…
- Stay True to Your Values: Building and running a business is not just about making money or ticking off boxes. It's essential to align your decisions with your core values and create an environment that reflects who you are. Operating from a place of shame, guilt, or resentment can be detrimental to your success and your overall well-being.
- Embrace Discomfort for Growth: Authenticity is crucial in business, but it can be uncomfortable to put yourself out there. However, it's in this discomfort that growth happens. By pushing through wounds and insecurities, you can unlock personal and professional growth that propels your business forward.
- Value Yourself and Your Work: Many entrepreneurs struggle with impostor syndrome, self-doubt, and questioning their worth. It's crucial to recognize that your work has value and to shift your mindset from merely charging for your services to being open to receiving the rewards of your hard work. Trust that the work you put in will pay off and remember to take breaks and rest along the way.
More about Talia:
Talia Bombola, The Confidence & Assertiveness Specialist™, is a Certified Psychodynamic, Licensed Psychotherapist, and Relationship Mentor for Women. Her work centers around helping anxious women feel secure by increasing self-worth, confidence, and assertiveness and rewiring beliefs about themselves, men, and relationships. She helps you heal the "not enoughness" that is blocking you from living a life overflowing with satisfaction and self-worth.
Talia has a course that covers everything we should have learned about self-worth, understanding men and women, and how to actually build successful relationships. Check out Talia's Self-Discovery Coaching Program here.
A Thanks to Our Sponsors: The Receptionist for iPad, Alma, & Therapy Notes!
I would also like to thank The Receptionist for iPad for sponsoring this episode.
As you prepare for the new year as a private practice owner, one area of your business where you might be able to level up your client experience is from the moment that they enter your office and check in with you. For many private practices, the client check-in process can be a bit awkward and confusing.
Clients often enter into an empty waiting room. And chances are you're wrapping up a session with someone else, so there's no way of knowing when they arrive. With a visitor management system like The Receptionist for iPad, you can provide clients with a discreet and secure way to check in for their appointment while instantly being notified of their arrival.
What's more, The Receptionist offers an iPad list check-in option where clients can scan a QR code to check in, which negates the need for you to buy an iPad and stand. Go to thereceptionist.com/privatepractice and sign up for a free 14-day trial. When you do, you'll get your first month free. And don't forget to ask about our iPad list check-in option.
I would also like to thank Alma for sponsoring this episode.
Alma makes it easy and financially rewarding to accept insurance. When you join their insurance program, you can get credentialed within 45 days and access enhanced reimbursement rates with major payers. They also handle all of your paperwork from eligibility checks to claim submissions, and they guarantee payment within two weeks of each appointment. You can also attract clients who are the right fit for your practice with a free profile in Alma's searchable directory. Additionally, Alma offers time-saving tools and administrative support, so you can spend less time on paperwork and more time delivering great care to your clients.
Get your first month free with Alma by visiting helloalma.com/ATPP.
I would also like to thank Therapy Notes for sponsoring this episode.
TherapyNotes™ is a complete practice management system with everything you need to manage patient records, schedule appointments, meet with patients remotely, create rich documentation, and bill insurance, right at your fingertips. Their streamlined software is accessible wherever and whenever you need it. Go to therapynotes.com and get 2 free months when you use code ATPP.
PATRICK CASALE: Hey there, everyone, you are listening to another episode of the All Things Private Practice Podcast. I'm your host, Patrick Casale. I'm joined today by Talia Bombala. She's an LMFT out in California and also a confidence and assertiveness specialist. Today we're going to talk about self-worth in your business, how they go hand in hand, how they impact your network, and just a different perspective on how you run your business.
So, Talia, really happy to have you on here. And thanks for coming on the show.
TALIA BOMBOLA: Thank you, I'm very happy to be here. I've been looking forward to this. And I'm appreciative to be able to have the platform to speak about, like you and I were talking a little bit off air, how our view of ourselves really does impact the way that we show up in our business, if we show up in our business, and how we do so, especially, with the advent of social media. I think you can be so much more forward facing and you can show yourself so much more. Not everybody chooses to do that. And that can impact, you know, your caseload, your clients, the type of clients that you work with.
And to your point about authenticity. I think whatever is the most authentic way that you can have your self-worth be honored, is the best way to go. And that is where each individual person that I work with, even in business coaching, they're going to differ. Not everybody feels comfortable going on, you know, Instagram or TikTok and making reels, but they might feel comfortable blogging, which I would rather pull every eyebrow hair out one by one than do that.
So, however works best for the authentic version of that person to exercise their self-worth, that is my jam.
PATRICK CASALE: Cool. I like that. Yeah, I agree. I think that it's important to tap into your authenticity. And I also agree that it's important to figure out where you feel the most comfortable or at least where do you feel the most comfortable putting yourself out there. Because it's very easy to say, like, I'm going to start a practice, I'm going to not really be on social media, and I'm just going to attract clients via good SEO, good website presence, doing good work. And that's fine. That works. It takes a lot longer these days. But like it does work.
I think when we're talking about like, expansion outside of private practice, or even just shifting your private practice from an insurance base to a cash pay, private pay practice, like, you really do have to embrace some sense of personality, and authenticity, and show up. And I know that that can bring up a lot of emotion for people when they're showing up because there's a lot of discomfort in how you're going to be received.
TALIA BOMBOLA: And I'm glad you brought that up the shift from, you know, even if you're working for an agency, separate from insurance space, and then going out on your own for private practice or starting to work for yourself and starting your own business, you know, as much as I do, it pushes on every part of you that you thought you had healed, that you didn't know you hadn't healed. It really is something to be mindful of that you know your business is a part of you in the sense that it represents, you know, part of who you are. But we can't be so, you know, intertwined with it, that we start to take it personally if a client, you know shifts or cancels. It might very well have nothing to do with us, especially, if it's a one-time thing.
If you're noticing it as a pattern, though, that you have clients drop off after one session or you're not putting yourself out there, you've hired all these business coaches yet you're not doing anything they've told you to do, are you comfortable with seeing yourself? Are you comfortable with being seen, and allowing others to see you, and showing up authentically in your practice, no matter how you run your practice? And I think that's a huge piece that so many clients that I work with in business coaching are missing is that confidence and that healed self-worth to really show up as their true self.
PATRICK CASALE: Yeah, I think that's an important point. And I think that there's a lot of inner child wounding that shows up in business ownership. And like you're mentioning, if you're not aware of this, or if you start a business, or you try to grow, or you leave a group practice, or you venture out on your own, you do start to experience a lot of these emotions. And they show up in so many different ways like impostor syndrome, self-doubt, perfectionism, insecurity, and that's a big piece because if you're trying to grow on social media, you're trying to grow your engagement, your following, your content, it can get really easy to get caught up in that comparison mindset of like, "Oh, look how many likes and follows Talia has on her Instagram page. Why is mine not growing as quickly? Like, what am I doing wrong?"
You really start to question your sense of self, and your capability, and your competency. And really what ends up happening is you can just shut down and disappear and say, "I'm not going to do this anymore. Like, this is too overwhelming, this is too uncomfortable."
TALIA BOMBOLA: Yeah, and the comparison piece, unless we know them very closely, we don't know what's going on behind the scenes for people, we don't know how much therapy, hopefully, that they've received, how much coaching, how much other support, external system support that they have to be able to kind of look so put together.
And one of my favorite things is when I see colleagues that I know in real life, but I see them on social media, and I liked the congruency, but they finally hit that point where they're like, "I hit a wall on social media." And I'm like, "Yes." Like, welcome to side that you've been on it long enough that, like, you start to question how much do I really want to put myself out there? Do I want to share my personal life? Do I want to share personal pieces of information that may be okay with clients, but I might not want to share as an overall?
And how an individual feels about themselves in their business, I think directly relates to the net worth you have because if you don't feel worthy of charging a higher rate, if you don't feel worthy of getting out of community mental health, or not taking insurance, then you won't make those steps to do so. And if you do, we also see doubling back.
I overshot my mark, I think this is too much, I have to go back to my safety, and my growth is not going to happen in safety, growth doesn't happen in comfort, it happens in discomfort. And you have to be pushing on those wounds a little bit in your own therapy and consultation to actually grow and be like, "Oh my gosh, I never thought I could charge X amount." Which is really like I never thought I could be worthy of receiving X fee. It's really not about charging, it's about receiving. And I think shifting that language and that mindset is so crucial. If you're wanting to grow your business in any sense, you're going to grow with it, and be prepared for that to happen because playing small only lasts you so long.
PATRICK CASALE: Yeah, for sure. And I think, you know, there are people listening who are like, I'm totally comfortable where I'm at in private practice, it feels really good, I feel like everything feels accessible, and I like the way my business is run. And that's fantastic. And I think that's the beauty of, like, small business ownership is everyone gets to make that decision for themselves, right?
TALIA BOMBOLA: Yes.
PATRICK CASALE: But what I don't love to hear in my Facebook group, and in general, in my coaching, is like, I'm making this decision because I think this is what I'm supposed to be doing because everyone else told me this is what I'm supposed to be doing.
And it's not really aligned with this is what I am pursuing or my goals, or what I value, or what I find to be important that people end up working themselves into the ground because they're like, "I can't charge more money, I can't raise my rates, I can't start this new venture in my business, because of A, B, and C."
And ultimately, you can recreate an agency job environment or a really lousy group practice environment really quickly for yourself. And it can be really hard to get out of.
TALIA BOMBOLA: Yes and having been the recipient of having worked at those places many years ago, before you can go out on your own it's so palpable when you are working for somebody who has those wounds that they're not tending to, that you're like, "Oh, okay, I've learned how to never run the business that I'm going to have eventually." Which is still good data but for those people who don't have that entrepreneurial spirit, or that drive, or even access to coaching and consultation, to be honest, to have a different perspective, sometimes we fall into, well, this is all there is, this is all that it can be.
And to your point, we do recreate the environment that we either first were introduced to or felt safest, I'm putting that in quotes and that doesn't always mean it's the healthiest or what's familiar doesn't always mean that it's healthy, and to push yourself, and to see different perspectives of "Oh, I could make more, I could have more." And not feeling like it has to come from somebody else telling you or you comparing yourself to this person who hasn't ever explicitly told you do more, be more, and that's part of the culture, I think that we see too, that hustle culture. Thankfully, at least in my sphere, it's kind of dying out. We're more like calming down-regulated nervous system era rather than, like, being so fried you can't fall asleep at night or you're just up, you know, awake with all these ideas.
Not every idea we have is ours to create. And that's something I learned in my own business coaching. We can be really great imagineers but that doesn't mean it's our job to take it to fruition and letting yourself have that parking lot of ideas that, sure, if you ever got to it would be great, but we spend so much time busying ourselves avoiding that true healing of self-worth by let me add this to my business, let me add this, let me add SEO. It's like you're doing too much. If something were to work, you actually wouldn't know what's successful to pinpoint to recreate it and that's a problem in and of itself.
PATRICK CASALE: Yeah, and I think this is a nuanced conversation because like, there's cultural beliefs within the profession of like, this is what we're supposed to charge, this is who we're supposed to be, this is why we got into the profession. So, there's all that. There's tons of guilt and shame around money, there's money trauma, which is real, people who have come from poverty, people with any sort of disadvantage in society, any sort of marginalized group. I mean, there's all this stuff that culminates into this, like, massive storm of just almost like, negative self-taught, but also self-limiting belief, because it's like, we don't know what we don't know.
And if you only surround yourself with a few people who are saying the same things, it's very easy to get entrenched in that belief system of like, this is how business works, this is, like, what it's like to be a mental health professional, this is the only option, and that's kind of where it ends.
But you do have to start to expand your horizons, you have to start having conversations with people who are doing things differently, who have taken risks because it allows you to then almost anchor on to their risk-taking and say, if they could do it, I could try to do it too. Or they tried to do it this way, I could try to do it this way, and with a different perspective.
So, I think you're right about that parking lot of ideas because so many of us have so many. And I think the more you add to it, the more you add these little ticky-tack things to your to do list and to your ideal list, the more you're bogging yourself down with actually taking action on the things that you feel passionate about.
TALIA BOMBOLA: And how you described it, being inspired to do something, and being motivated by somebody else's completion or ability to do it is so much different than a negative comparison, looking to somebody and be like, "Oh, my gosh, I never thought that was possible." Maybe it gives you some internal permission you've been waiting for, "I never knew I could charge that amount. I never knew I could get healing for money trauma." You know, all these great awakenings that we go through, that is a more grounded place to come from rather than, "Well, why don't I have what they have?"
So, on top of the guilt and shame, there's jealousy and envy, there's jealousy, if you feel threatened that somebody's going to take something that's yours, and envy if you don't have what other people have. And those are the, I would say, shadow sides of business and entrepreneurship is focusing too heavily on, "I feel so guilty about this. I'm so ashamed of this, or I'm coming from a shame place. Why don't I have what they have? How can I make sure nobody takes what's mine?" And not coming at it from like an intellectual property copyright perspective, truly, and like, "Well, I don't want to share."
But you're expecting other people to coach you or consult with you and share how they got there, but you're not willing to give back. I think there's a spirit of generosity and reciprocity that we need to come from as well.
PATRICK CASALE: Yeah, absolutely. I think when you're operating from, like, a shame and guilt, and where's that whole place your business starts to reflect that, you start to kind of emanate that energy. And it's going to show up in your marketing, it's going to show up in network or don't network, it's going to show up in your content creation. And you can get into this panic mode, where it's like, I'm going to start doing things that I never would have thought I would have done or say yes to things that I wouldn't say yes to. And ultimately, you can really sway so far from your center or from the values that you kind of go through life with. And then none of us feel supportt anymore. I think that we want to start our own businesses and work for ourselves because we want the same things. Like, the answers are always the same, right? Like autonomy, freedom, time off, flexibility, creativity, no more PTO requests, more money.
But ultimately, like, if you swayed from that, if you really strayed from these values, it's really challenging to create a place of self-employment that feels enjoyable, where like every day doesn't feel like a massive chore that you have to undertake any kind of move through the motions.
TALIA BOMBOLA: Mm-hmm (affirmative). And the joy that we're able to, at once, achieve, it's easier to maintain it. I think it can be difficult to get there because it feels like this proverbial carrot at the end of the stick. Like, well, once I have this, I'll feel this. We're too far in the future, looking at it, and asking yourself, honestly, "Am I truly okay with my business?"
And if you want it to be this way for the rest of, you know, how you run things, some people only ever want a tiny private practice and that's all they need. This is wonderful. And this is probably not for them. So, if that's you, you don't need to keep listening to me, but please do. But it is more so, am I choosing to keep it this way because I feel like it's all I can do? Or am I truly content and enjoying where I'm at and I don't want to grow anymore?
Yeah, I mentioned with you off-air I'm in a season of my life where I'm growing other things personally. I don't need to grow professionally now. I'm grateful I've put in so much work, you know, over half a decade that I feel confident I don't need to grow more at this point. I feel like I have a pretty good deal with the universe. If I need a client, I wake up to one in my inbox. Like, I got things so dialed in because I've had so much coaching. And that's what I hope to impart on the clients that I work with, or people listening to this podcast, that getting to that level, whatever it looks like for you individually is possible. And we all need to rest before we climb to the second or third mountain, so to speak.
And the first way that we build our business is often not the way we recreate it. I know you have the therapy practice now the coaching. I don't know if you could, I couldn't do it the exact same way for both because it's different businesses. I thought I could, but I got really frustrated when I realized I couldn't.
PATRICK CASALE: Yeah, that's a really good point. And I think that a lot of my coaching and advice, and guidance would come from mistakes that I've made, and the realizations that a lot of us don't have any business training. So, we're going into this almost blindly feeling like, okay, I'm doing things the way I think I'm supposed to do them, or the way set two people have told me I have to. And it's really challenging to then step into your confidence and self-assuredness of feeling like I want to do things this way, and I feel good and comfortable and confident to pursue the way I want to run my business. It's really challenging to do that when your ears full of like, "No, this is how you do it, this is how you do it, this is what happens in this profession. You don't get into mental health to make money, you, you know, are going to struggle." I can tell my light behind me is about to go up. "You know, you're going to struggle all your life, you're going to really have a hard time getting clients, you're never going to be able to attract these fees. Nobody's ever going to pay you."
Like, we can get so bogged down in the negative narration. And it's not even our own, but we allow for it to dictate our decision-making. And ultimately, we really don't even ever take a look at what is important to me and what do I want out of this? Why am I creating this? Like, I think we always need to circle back to that.
TALIA BOMBOLA: Yes, what is the true purpose? And I know Simon Sinek talks about like, what is your why? What is the purpose of the profession you've chosen? What is the purpose of continuing the profession you've chosen? And if you're finding that you don't want to do that anymore or pursue that anymore, what has shifted for you internally that's created a desire for something to be different?
I didn't start out coaching, I started out just doing therapy, and then over the years, that felt like the next iteration of how I wanted to show up and serve people. And that might very well change in the next few years. I don't have a crystal ball to my knowledge. It's not tucked away anywhere. So, I'll have to see what arrives when it gets there and keep doing the work on myself separate from being a business owner, that when that day shows up, I can see it more clearly this is what I meant to do, this is why this other opportunity didn't work out, this is why I'm glad that job, you know, already six, seven years ago said no because I wouldn't be here.
So, I think keeping that perspective of what is happening for me and how can I also exercise my willpower and independence to make things happen in my life, and having that feel balanced, rather than forcing things to work, which usually doesn't go very well, for very long, anyway, if it even is successful. And taking the backseat of, well, if it happens, it happens.
There's only very few times where you've scaled your business to the point where you really can be like, what comes comes because you've already set the systems up in place. Rarely is that how you can just start, like, sit there on your couch being like, the clients will find me, no website, no social media, no anything for them to find you. It's like, well, they're going to be your pizza delivery person.
PATRICK CASLE: That's so true. I mean, you do have to do that. And I think there are different iterations of this career. And if you're entrepreneurial listening to this podcast, which I assume most of you are, then there are going to be seasons of your career too. And there's going to be an evolution. You know, like, I talk about it constantly, where I got my masters in 2015, I got an agency job, I got promoted, I felt like this is it. Like, this is the epitome, and the peak, and pinnacle of being a mental health professional, and then burnt out as most of us do. And I started a practice. And then I was like, "Okay, this is the pinnacle." And I started coaching, and then a podcast, and then retreats, and then speaking at conferences, and then a group practice, which feels counterintuitive and linear secession.
But like, it is amazing how once you start to acknowledge like, your skill sets, and your inherent strengths that you build upon, and you learn along the way are so applicable in so many different ways. And that also allows you to have a ripple effect on your community at large because it's not always trading dollars for time. And the acknowledgement of like, if you're really struggling with the money side of things, right? Like, there are ways to be accessible at for a very low cost or basically free. Like, podcasting episodes, workbooks, PDFs, social media content, that's all the free content that people can absorb and digest. So, there are lots of ways to do this. And there are also lots of ways to grow into places where you never thought they were possible.
I never in a million fucking years when I would think that I would say, I rented an entire medieval village in Italy and I'm hosting an international summit for mental health entrepreneurs. Like, that is not something that I was expecting to say in 2015.
TALIA BOMBOLA: Yeah, very true. Surprising previous versions of ourselves, I think is a true part of entrepreneurship and blowing ourselves out of the water. I remember, we actually were lucky enough years ago to have a private practice management class in grad school. I did not pay attention because my last year of grad school, I was actually going into law enforcement because of personal exploration. I was like, "I like justice." I'm like, "This is my type of personality." Was not what I thought it was, happy it didn't work out for many reasons.
But I didn't pay attention in that class. So, like dipped off, I was like, "Whatever, I'll do the assignments, but like, I'm never going to need this because I'm not doing this." Little did I know. And so I wrote my business plan totally unattached to the outcome, truly dreaming. And I'm like, "Oh, this sounds nice, this would be cool." And I blew it out of the water within, like, six months of doing it, and I was like, "Oh, shit like this actually works. Like, this is exciting to have to look back on how far I've come."
And I think for that reason, being able to look back and surprise yourself or look forward and surprise yourself, being your own inspiration, but also taking inspiration from other people can be incredibly helpful.
PATRICK CASALE: Absolutely.
TALIA BOMBOLA: And like running retreats, I know that wasn't as common, at least to me, to my knowledge, even just a few years ago. And now it's far more common. And I think the excitement that comes up when people are like, "Wait, I get to write this off, and I get to travel, and I get to network. Like, how exciting?" That can be inspirational to other people. I would love to wake up one day and be the person who runs retreats, but I have no energy left in my gas tank, to learn that whole new arm of my business because maybe in part I have a belief it might be, you know, taxing or arduous.
And another part, I'm like, "That might not be my thing to do at this point." Maybe not ever, but maybe just not right now. That's not my season, to your point, knowing what season you are ripe for whatever the opportunity is that's where timing comes into play to as well as your self-worth and affecting your net worth, as I say.
PATRICK CASALE: Absolutely. You know, I think so many of us can do so many of these things, right? Like, I know so many people who could create very, very, very good coaching programs, podcasts, YouTube channels, social media content, retreat hosting, but is I ttime for you to invest your energy into it. I'm the type of person who can't invest my energy into something unless I can be all in. And that's just my personality.
So, it's very challenging to say like, you know, I had major throat surgery. In October, I had to take a step back from coaching. And I decided at that time, like, the only energy I had is for podcasting and retreats this year, and I have to be okay with that. And whatever else comes comes. And you can allow that to naturally or organically grow. But if you try to pressure it, and you try to, like, really force the issue, the creativity and the spark never ignite. And it ultimately leaves you feeling really frustrated.
So, I think that entrepreneurialship is a journey. And I use a highway metaphor, a lot of just getting off the highway at different exits. Sometimes you take a U-turn, sometimes the tire blows out, sometimes you need to rely on someone else to jumpstart your car. But ultimately, you know, if you just continue to follow the passion and align with the why and do your own work, the stuff that you can create is really just beyond brilliant.
TALIA BOMBOLA: Yes. And what you've created can… as long as it's able to be maintained by you or hiring out eventually, I know so many people who start with like, okay, I have a media person, a VA, a podcast this, I'm like, "We don't have a client yet. Like what? Slow your roll? I mean, great job finding all those people. You're very resourceful. But like, where's the income coming in to fund this?"
And I don't recommend going into debt with no foreseeable way out of it. Like, temporary short term, that's like a business loan, that's much different than like, "Yeah, I'm like 30 grand in the hole. I don't know why I did this." I never recommend that. Like, that's definitely not good for your self-worth or your net worth. Coming at it from a from a view of, this is how I coach, like, try to build it. If you need help, obviously, like, cut some consultation, hire a VA here and there, for sure don't white knuckle it unless that's your thing, then go for it.
But you don't have to white knuckle it. Once you built it to a point where you're like, I would like this to continue but I don't want to be the one who carries that anymore, that's the perfect point to pass the torch. That's what I've done. I've three podcasts, talks about being an overachiever. And I grew them all myself. And then it got to the point where I was like, "What am I doing?" And I didn't want to overwork anymore, I didn't want to get my self-worth from how productive I was. So, I started looking for somebody to help me to outsource. And now I love that I do them. And I love that I don't have to touch anything besides show up record and be done.
And I wouldn't have known that personally until I had gotten to that point because up until then I loved the editing, the behind the scenes, the emails, the Calendly links. I loved setting all that up, it made me feel productive. But once I didn't want to be as productive anymore, then I didn't want that. And I had to outsource it. And I'm glad that I did because they exist now. And I don't have to be as involved.
So, whatever systems you're building, ideally, they should be able to function without you. If you choose to, either, like let them go, this is just not my project anymore, it's not for me, release it, sell it to somebody, or just close up shop for a little while. And you can always restart it for most things.
PATRICK CASALE: Yeah, absolutely. Really good advice. And I think it's important to get to that place where you no longer have to derive your sense of self-worth, from your sense of achievement because that's for so many of us, including myself, like it's such a big, big player in this and it can really influence decision making, and sense of self, and mental health, and business health as well.
I know like, well, weeks ago I was, "Damn, you know, we have a podcast sponsor in place for 2023. But I'm really getting concerned about [INDISCERIBLE 00:28:39]." So, thinking about that. And then this week I've had like five people email me like, "Hey, we want to sponsor your podcast."
But I think you have to get to a place where you know you're putting out good products, you know you're putting out really valuable information, or guidance, or support. And sometimes you just have to trust that continuing to do that is going to work itself out because, again, if you're just pushing, pushing, pushing all the time, that's where the burnout comes in anyway. And then if you get the result you want, you don't even have the energy to follow it through anymore because you've worked so damn hard.
TALIA BOMBOLA: Yes. And we don't want, ideally, to work ourselves to the point of burnout because whatever we're creating or hoping to create during that is just a very garbage form of a rough draft usually that we're like, "I've got this." Then you look at it when you're not in burnout anymore. Like, what is this? I built this? Like, I don't even like this. And you have to restart a lot of the time.
So, getting yourself to the point where you're like I need a break and taking the break is… because if you don't take the break, the break is going to take you. That's what I tell my clients and my students too. Like, pace that and plan to be excited as all get out, and then there's going to be an overwhelm. And at the end of that, that's when you might need to rest, reevaluate, and then take a breath, right? Park at base camp, and then do the next summit the next day. You're not going to climb it all in one day.
PATRICK CASALE: Yeah, I love that. Really good advice and really good conversation. I hope a lot of you get a lot out of this, and just kind of absorb this, and start thinking about your business in a different way, in a different lens, and really just working on your stuff. You know, like, it's really hard to run a thriving, successful business when the behind the scenes, it's just chaos all the time.
And my life has definitely been that way. But it's important to just continuously revise and edit and be okay with the current version. And not, you know, put the unnecessary pressure on yourself to constantly be doing, doing, doing all the time.
TALIA BOMBOLA: Yeah, because there will be a day that, ideally if you're doing the work you arrive at not wanting to do and wanting to be instead. And that's pretty much every client I have in business. They're like, "Who the fuck am I? Like, I've like looked in the mirror, and I'm having this break where I don't want to be overworked anymore. I just want to chill, but I am scared shitless because I don't know who I am." And that's exactly like my ideal client is like, "Okay, who are you now that you get to be instead of do?" And that's the existential work that we go on. And obviously, to still maintain the business most of them don't want to retire, right? When we start working together. I mean, they want to, they feel like they want to, but they can't actually, lifestyle wise yet. How can we help you to live an easier life and be okay, not feel guilty, not feel ashamed, not let those limiting beliefs drag you back into overwork, picking up an extra agency job just because you had a free Thursday afternoon. It's like God forbid you use it for yourself instead of serving others. Like, it really is crucial to be able to understand like, what drives you, and what drives you to be the way that you are. And if you can't be, what drives you to do so much that you avoid being entirely.
PATRICK CASALE: Absolutely. Couldn't say it better myself. Yeah, that's fantastic advice. And I hope everyone listening can take that in and put that into good use. So, really start giving yourself permission to work for yourself, and work on yourself, and just support your needs, first and foremost. I think that's the most important piece.
TALIA BOMBOLA: I agree. Absolutely.
PATRICK CASALE: Talia, do you want to share with the audience where they can find more of what you have to offer? You have a really awesome Instagram page and some really cool offerings out there.
TALIA BOMBOLA: Thank you. Yeah, so I personally, I'm most active on Instagram. It's my first and last name, Talia Bombala. I also am on TikTok and YouTube, same handle. I have three podcasts, if people are not sick of my voice yet, I always joke. I have Healed Through Humor, where I like to do stand-up comedy, so I incorporate humor and getting to know other people who are in the helping profession. I have Between Two Clinicians that I have with another co-host where we do like hot takes and kind of behind the scenes. Like, real raw what therapists think. And then the Couples Guide Podcast is with another fellow therapist where we talk all things relationships and answer people's questions like, is this normal that my couple's therapist said this? I didn't like what happened here, my partner's doing this. So, if you have any of those kinds of relationship questions, you can find me there.
And then I have a offering that took many years to build but was a lot of my own coaching. And that was wildly out there in birth. And it's called The Class and it encompasses everything I've learned from evolutionary psychology, behavioral psychology, and a lot of the depth-based work that I've done in psychoanalysis into a course that is self-led that also includes video lectures, that people can better understand themselves, ideally, as a jumping off platform, to date smarter to pick better jobs
We don't know who we really are, it's very difficult to design a life worth living and have an ideal life according to our values if we don't know what they are. So, The Class covers pretty much everything you never got taught by your parents growing up, and definitely, what we didn't get taught in school. So, that's my new project that has been created this year that's available on my website at taliabombola.com.
PATRICK CASALE: Awesome. And all of that information will be in the show notes that everyone has easy access to all of that and you can take The Class, you can check out Talia's information, her podcast, her Instagram page, and everything that she offered. So, thank you so much for coming on and making the time today. I really appreciate it.
TALIA BOMBOLA: Thank you for having me. I really appreciate it as well.
PATRICK CASALE: Everyone listening to the All Things Private Practice Podcast, episodes are out every single Saturday on all major platforms and YouTube. Like, download, subscribe, and share. Doubt yourself, do it anyway. We'll see you next week.
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