Episode 45: Giving Yourself Permission to "Do ALL The Things" [featuring Marquita Johnson]

Show Notes

It's easy to minimize what we do as therapists and look at all the years of schooling, experience, and skills as something anyone can do, but there is so much value in what you offer to the world (and what you can offer to yourself if you just give yourself permission to create and live the life you want).

In this episode, I talk with Marquita Johnson, therapist, dating coach, motivational speaker, business speaker, author, and amazing single mom, about her experiences building a business, caring for and conserving energy as an entrepreneur, and giving permission to herself to create and seize life-changing opportunities.

We talk about:

• how Marquita brought dreams to reality by giving herself permission to break the mold and take the leap to follow passions and ideas
• how boundaries and roadblocks are things that you often set for yourself because of impostor syndrome, but you can tear them down
• how the question, "can I do it?" is often a sign for Marquita that she probably should
• how doing something first (or new) can be a catalyst for change and people to follow
• how each therapist has uniqueness and value in the way they do therapy (and that's their secret sauce and superpower)
• Marquita's passion for working with millennials
• balancing mommyhood as a single parent with entrepreneurship

More about Marquita:

Marquita Johnson is a graduate of Mercer University with a Master of Science in Community Counseling and Master of Divinity. Marquita received her undergraduate degree from Georgia State University in Psychology & Sociology. She is a licensed professional counselor in Georgia, nationally certified counselor, board certified tele-mental health counselor, and certified professional counselor supervisor. Marquita is also a brainspotting practitioner. Her specialties include women issues, dating, divorce, spirituality, and step-families. Currently, Marquita enjoys private practice work and supporting the Faculty & Staff Assistance Program at Emory University. She is currently pursuing her doctoral degree in Counselor Education and Supervision at Walden University.

Marquita's websites: millennialc3.com or millennialdatingcoach.com

Marquita's Instagram & Facebook: @millennialdatingcoach

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A Thanks to Our Sponsor!

I would also like to thank Hushmail for sponsoring this episode.

As a therapist, how you communicate with clients online is just as important as how you communicate in your sessions. If you use email and web forms, they need to be secure and HIPAA compliant. Hushmail takes the guesswork out of secure communication by providing encrypted email, web forms, and e-signatures all in one HIPAA-compliant package. Are you still using paper forms or sending your clients PDFs that they have to print out and scan back? Online forms will save you a ton of time. With Hush Secure Forms, you can start with a template and customize it to reflect your practice, or use the drag-and-drop form builder to build forms from scratch with fields for e-signatures. Add the forms to your website, or send them through secure email. Hush Secure Forms also include screening forms. They have a Good Faith Estimate template to ensure you’re in compliance with the No Surprises Act. Clients will spend less time in the waiting room and more time getting the care that they need.

Go to try.hushmail.com/allthings and enjoy the first month of your plan for free.

Transcript

PATRICK CASALE: As a therapist, how you communicate with clients online is just as important as how you communicate in your sessions. If you use email and web forms they need to be secure and HIPAA-compliant. Hushmail takes the guesswork out of secure communication by providing encrypted email, web forms, and eSignatures all in one HIPAA-compliant package.

Are you still using paper forms or sending your client's PDFs that they have to print out, fill out and scan back? Online forms will save you a ton of time, not to mention make things easier for your clients. With Hush Secure Forms you can start with a template and customize it to reflect your practice or use the drag and drop form builder to build forms from scratch with fields for eSignatures, add the forms to your website, or send them through secure email.

Hush Secure Forms also includes screening forms such as the PHQ-9 depression screening that delivers a score upon completion. They also have a Good Faith Estimate template to ensure you're in compliance with the No Surprises Act. Move your Intake, Informed Consent, Health History, and other practice forms to Hush Secure Forms. Your clients will spend less time in the waiting room and more time getting the care that they need. Go to try.hushmail.com/allthings and enjoy the first month of your plan for free.

Hey everyone, you are listening to another episode of the All Things Private Practice Podcast. I am your host Patrick Casale, coming today from sunny St. Pete Florida. And I am joined by a friend and colleague of mine, a force in the industry, Marquita Johnson. She is an LPC in Georgia, Dating Coach, Therapist, Motivational Speaker, Business Speaker, and also an Author. So, I'm really happy to have you here. That's pretty incredible, considering we're going to talk about solo mompreneurs and solo parentpreneurs, and also, imposter syndrome, and all the other things that you want to talk about.

MARQUITA JOHNSON: Well, thank you so much, Patrick, for having me. I'm excited to talk about all the things, so just like all the things private practice, I'm excited to talk about all the things.

PATRICK CASALE: Well, I know that one of the things you want to talk about is introversion and how a lot of things can be superpowers and kryptonites almost, and especially, doing all the things that you're offering. I imagine that can get very exhausting, and energy conserving, and just being really protective of your energy is really important for you.

MARQUITA JOHNSON: Absolutely, yeah, I think starting out, I'm a shining object syndrome type of guest, so… 

PATRICK CASALE: Thank you.

MARQUITA JOHNSON: So, I think you'll really like, "Oh, look at that, oh, that's interesting." But I learned to like really focus and when I started to focus my private practice on, like, millennials, and servicing, like, specialty millennials, that really, like, spoke to me. And then, I kind of went from that, like, everything millennials, so dealing with, like, dating, relationships, career, and just where they are, and that, you know, juncture in their lives, I found to be fascinating. 

I'm millennial-ish, you know, some [INDISCERNIBLE 00:03:03], like, at the end, kind of holding on. But conserving your energy is important, especially, in being a therapist and what we do. I think I learned it later in my career. I wish I knew it sooner. But the good thing about that is, you know, experience can be a great teacher. And, you know, anytime you learn it it's good as opposed to not learning it. 

So, I've learned how to really lean into self-care and manage my expectations. Like, that's been a theme for the last, like three or four years for me, because I found it wasn't people really putting all these expectations, it was me putting expectations on myself and just really navigating that and being honest with myself about what I needed and what I wanted at the time, and then, really managing that has been helpful to conserve my energy.

PATRICK CASALE: That's really well said and I imagine you need to conserve your energy with all of the things that you're doing. You're also a single parent and talk to us about what that's like as an entrepreneur who's juggling these businesses and all of these things, and traveling, and then, also being a mom.

MARQUITA JOHNSON: Yeah, it's the real thing. You know, well, mommyhood is like full-time, it never stops even when I'm out of town. Like, FaceTiming, checking the ring to make sure he's out the door. Interesting enough, he does a lot better when I'm away from home, so I don't know what does that say. 

But I think it's good for both of us. It's that healthy dynamics of the relationship and modeling, like, going after your dreams, and I can recall my son doing a project a couple of years ago about a person, you know, that he was like most proud of, and admire, and he put me on there and was like, "I'm proud of you mommy for starting your own business." And I was just thinking like, "Wow." Just to think like your child has this blueprint too, if that's something that they want to go after, you know, as far as their life goal, and they see, like, hey it's possible. 

But it does take a lot of, you know, balancing and juggling things. And I always give the example of recognizing what's glass and rubber balls when I'm juggling. And glasses, me and my family, and rubber is pretty much everything else. 

So, I try to, like, maintain it in that way, like, "Okay, I don't want to drop myself or my son." And so, like, everything else becomes rubber. So, sometimes I may not make, you know, this amount of money, because my greater yes is to make it in my son's football game or getting our movie nights and you know, hanging out. So, really, it's about prioritizing for me.

PATRICK CASALE: That sounds like a balancing act, and really trying to have intentionality behind how you schedule your time, and what feels most important for you. And I want to circle back like you said, he's told his class that you're a hero to him, you're a huge influence. And how did that hit home when you heard that?

MARQUITA JOHNSON: I think, for me, it brought the realization of what I was doing, because I'm the kind of person that I just kind of do it. And then, later, I'm like, "Oh, wow, that was pretty cool, that was me?" But in the moment I'm not thinking like, "Oh, yeah, I'm really, like, breaking, you know, the stigma, and barriers, and things of this sort." And it was just like, I'm just doing this thing, you know? 

Really, entrepreneurship came out of being a parent for me, it was the necessity. Oh, and I was just talking to someone the other day about this is, I got tired of asking my job for time off with my son. Like, it became, like, I'm at work, but I have to, like, choose work over my son. And that made me feel like awful, because I'm servicing other people and being present for them, but I couldn't make it to muffins with moms for my son. And it was just, like, but I want to be there for muffins and moms. Like, I really liked that [INDISCERNIBLE 00:06:54].

And so, it really just for me pushed me to entrepreneurship. I was like, "I can't, this tension, you know, that I'm feeling I can't feel that when I'm sitting with someone else helping them get through their issues and crisis, but I'm like, you know, not present for my own kid." And that was just really important to me to be around for all the moments, and so, he can have those memories. And I wanted to be a part of that. And for me, it just made it, that push, that more evident, and so, like, it pushed me to entrepreneurship, motherhood did that for me. Like, it was, like, my freedom was worth, like, more. 

PATRICK CASALE: Wow, that sounds like such a powerful, powerful catalyst and realization to say, these are my priorities, and I can't do these if I'm working nine to five every single day. And I have to have permission to just step away for the things that are so important, which is ridiculous. It sounds like that's how you decided to kind of leap into entrepreneurialship. Was there fear there, was there, you know, a lot of imposter syndrome of like, "I'm a single parent, this has to work?"

MARQUITA JOHNSON: Right, it was kind like, you know, this is the shot, and I didn't have a backup system. So, there was a lot of fear. And I am like a calculated risk taker. I'm not a risk taker, like, "Yeah, I'm bitten at all." I'm kind of like, "I'll bet some of it, but I need to have, like, this cushion." 

So, it was really super risky. And the interesting thing was, I was making the most money I've made, like, in my life at that particular job. And I went to another job and took like a pay cut that was, you know, 10,000 plus dollars. And I was like, "What are you doing? Like, you really aren't making a ton, you know, to make sure that the household is afloat, but you're going to take a pay cut? Like, really this just doesn't make sense."

And, you know, for me it was just really trusting that I could make something happen. Like, I didn't know how, but I just knew, like, if I stuck with it, and I could eventually, like, do something with it. And so, I was really like trusting myself and just looking at my history of, like, okay, you've done things, like, you know, I did kind of the core beliefs, the core values, like, "Okay, you've got yourself out of tough, you know, situations before." And wanting more for my son. And again, to me, it was truly about that freedom and feeling like I had all these skills, and I wasn't really growing too. So, I felt really, like, stagnant in my career. I was working on a job and just like every day going in, and I could see the people on the little commuter bus at like 70 or 80 they're like. And I was like, "There's no way this could be my life."

I was like, "If this is my life like, I don't know." And so, it really like propelled me to say, like, "Here are ideas and things that I wanted to do in the field that I didn't really see being done." But I was like, "Hey, let's just try. Like, if it doesn't work, that's fine. But, you know, you will regret the chances that you don't take." So, I was like, "Let's do it."

PATRICK CASALE: That's really beautifully said and so powerful for people to hear, to just take that risk. And I do think that's what being an entrepreneur is, right? Like, we are taking risks, we're stepping into some uncertainty and unknown, and we're creative in terms of how to figure it out. And it sounds like that was your process. And when you do that, and you decide, "Hey, I'm going to do this, I'm going to figure this out." What's your blueprint at first? Is it just kind of flying by the seat of your pants? Like, "I'm going to start a private practice, I don't know what the hell I'm doing, but I'm going to figure it out.

MARQUITA JOHNSON: Something like that. Like, I'm the person that builds the thing everyone is like, "Oh, yeah, like, let's do this." So, I started to, like, seek out connections with other people that were doing the things that I wanted to do, like, that was important to me, like, to see somebody or someone, like, doing the things that I was interested and putting myself in the right position. So, I started being less focused on, like, money, and, you know, like, job titles, and things like that, and started looking at my collective experience of the previous places that I've worked. And then I said, "Marquita, if there's not a, like, job title, like, just create one." Because I can't do just one thing. 

So, I was like, "Doing one thing is just so, like, stagnant, and like, restricting for me." And so I was like, I can't imagine, like, just being in private practice, either, and I was like, "Well, who said you had to do that only?" And so I was like, "Oh." So, a part of it too was me giving myself permission to, like, really drain and really create something beyond even what I imagined. So, that intentionality to surround myself with people, to expose myself to different opportunities, and just really embrace the uncertainty that you talked about, I really leaned into it. And I would say, I hugged it out. So, I like gave it a bear hug. And I was just like, "We're in it, you know, to win it." 

And amazingly enough, like, people are drawn to that. And like being yourself, and just, you know, embracing the journey, I think really helped me manage the fear, and uncertainty, and surrounding myself with other entrepreneurs, listening to like Audibles, and just really engrossing myself in a lot of things regarding entrepreneurship, and creative, and going to conferences, and putting myself out there, which was really scary, because I'm different. So, yeah. I think that was the scariest part, is like, because your energy, as you talked about, like, I get very, you know, aware of, like, my energy. And I'm like, "I don't want to put myself out there to all these like strangers." 

In the back of my mind, I have my grandma like, "Are you meeting people on the internet?" Like, I've met people on the internet, though, yeah, it was like, I don't know these people for real, but those individuals I've met, I've made some of the best connections, you know, over the internet, and Facebook groups, therapy groups, outside of therapy groups, such as really, like, leaning into all of my resources that are at my fingertips.

PATRICK CASALE: I hope everyone that's listening is really taking that in, especially, if you're questioning your choices in terms of taking that leap and being vulnerable, because I think a lot of us just have to put ourselves out there. And we have to just try. And it's so important to just embrace that fear, like you said, give it a bear hug. I've been thinking about fear more like if you're driving a car using fear as a gas pedal instead of a brake pad or a brake pedal, and just truly, really moving into that because I think a lot of us build the plane as we fly it, so to speak, and like, don't always have a plan. And you're so right about the connection and just surrounding yourself with people who are doing cool things, because it creates this energy. 

And then, you're like, "Oh, I can do cool things." And like, now I'm around like-minded people who are doing this stuff and it helps with the feeling stagnated, it helps with, like, the limiting beliefs of, "This is all I can do." And for people who just want to do private practice that is great. But I do think so many of us wants to do so many different things, call it neurodivergence, call it shiny object syndrome, like, call it whatever the hell you want. But ultimately, at the end of the day, stimulation and seeking out new opportunities are really important.

MARQUITA JOHNSON: Absolutely, Patrick, yeah. And it helps you grow, you know, not only as a clinician, therapist, helping professional, social worker. And like it helped me grow in my own personal life by, you know, taking this risk. And, you know, really, like, dreaming and hope and beyond, like, what I could see. And it was amazing that people were attracted, you know, to that and there were other people, and making these amazing friendships, and, you know, partnering with other colleagues, and ultimately, doing what I always wanted to do was help people transform, empower, and change their lives, like, on a level I had no idea was even possible, just because when I went to graduate school, like, private practice was the crème de la crème, like, that was it. Like, you'd have arrived? 

And I was just like, "Is that it, really?" Like, I was like, "I don't think that could…" Like, and that's not everyone, you know? For me, it was really, like, isolating, although I'm an introvert. Like, private practice was isolating. I enjoy connecting with others. And that's kind of a misnomer. Like, introverts like people, for the most part. It's just that people can drain us. And we have to be mindful of the energy pull on us, because people, I think, are attracted to introverts just because they like deep, meaningful relationships. Like, they're not really surface people. Like, if they connect with you they want to connect in a meaningful, deep way. And that can be draining. 

So, when you think about, "Oh, I'm connecting with five people that way, and then, 500, 5000, five million, it's like, ooh, that's a lot." And so, just be mindful of, like, how to, you know, go back and recharge and how to use that energy to your advantage.

PATRICK CASALE: Yeah, that's really well said. I think about a lot of extroverted introverts in a way of people who really love deep meaningful connection like myself, but ultimately, surface-level artificial connection I can't do, and I think that can make me look like an asshole sometimes. But ultimately, I want to be really protective of my energy so that I can focus it in the ways that feel really positive for me. 

And, you know, I think with all the stuff you're doing, you know, speaking at conferences, you know, you're speaking on different platforms all over the place. And it really is important, like, prioritizing, right? Like, family life, business life, Marquita's personal energy, like everything has to be in synchronous, everything has to be connected in one way or another, it sounds like.

MARQUITA JOHNSON: Yeah, yeah, that synergy that you talked about there you get from being around others, but then, there's intentionality about scheduling that time because, again, for someone that likes a lot of things and interests are varied, you can, you know, get, you know, easily sidetracked or you can get in a silo, you know. And during the pandemic that definitely happened to me, because I'm also working on a PhD. Amongst other settings, though, I was like, head down, trying to finish these internships, and while everybody else was like, "Whoa, I have so much free time." 

I felt like the walls were literally closing, because now everything was, you know, at home for me. And so, it took me a lot of intentionality to kind of get out of that cycle so that I can begin to, like, reengage with like colleagues, and schedule those lunch meetings, and get creative about ways to connect, because that's important. Like, it beats my soul. And so, it helps that creativity, like, keep going, so yeah. And getting out to Hawaii was like, amazing, so…

PATRICK CASALE: Yeah, it was great to meet you in Hawaii. And I think that the more opportunities we have like that to travel, to experience food together, to just really connect, and I think those relationships are really meaningful, and so powerful too to see so many people doing so many cool things. And it's really inspiring to just say, it doesn't have to be one way or another. Like, our pathways are all going to be unique, and that is the beauty of being a small business owner. And tell me about, you know, I talk a lot about imposter syndrome on this podcast, I want to know how yours shows up and how it did show up throughout all of these ventures?

MARQUITA JOHNSON: Yeah. For me, it was like giving myself permission to, like, do things. It was like, "Oh, well, can I do it?" And I think a lot of times this question of like, is it okay? Like, when I edit the coaching and like creating cards, like, conversation cards, because again, therapy had been so narrowly defined like counseling, you know? And then I'm thinking like, ethically, and so, like, clinical work had been, you know, really, it shifted so much like in the last 10 years, and thinking about, like, we're the newer generations, as in now, you know, people will be looking up to us, because I've been a therapist now for 12 years. And every time I say this, like, "Wow, you've been doing this a long time."

But it's really, like, for me, giving myself permission to do all the things, and utilizing all the knowledge that I have. The thing that I love about counseling and therapy is that we have, like, just the amount of just knowledge in our heads that the common everyday person doesn't have and the skills that we have when someone walks into our space or logs on online. Like, we may take that for granted and we minimize that often. And that was me too. Like, "Oh, you know, everybody can't do this work." And even if they have the knowledge, the hard part of it is, you know, what's also the invaluableness in being a therapist, and being a counselor, or being a helping professional. 

Like, it's hard work, but it's heart work. So, it's both of those. And for me, it's remembering that only I put those boundaries, or any kind of barriers, or roadblocks, or limitations on the possibilities of what I can do. And so, it's likely if I'm questioning, can I do that? I definitely should do this, you know, and recognizing that everybody has their own, like part of imposter syndrome, that pause of like, "Nobody's done this in my family, or I haven't seen, you know, this out in the world."

And you may be that one, and it starts with the one, like, so one person takes that leap, and then, the others are looking on, like, oh, wow, they're doing it. And although, you know, it's again, struggles and setbacks, because I've had all those, there'll be a whole nother podcast. But you know, I just really like knew if I continue to stick with it, and you could start to see the little results. So, I'm always about that light at the end of the tunnel. And I'm very optimistic in nature anyway. Maybe this is what helps me with therapy, is that I believe, like, change and healing is always just around the corner. And so, for me, it's really remembering that and remembering my why, as to why did I start this journey, and tapping into that, and looking forward to the future.

PATRICK CASALE: So many good thoughts, and ideas, and quotes in that segment right there. I'm thinking about, you know, it's hard work, but it's heart work. You know this is right around the corner. Like, so many good little snippets. That might be the episode title. But, you know, what you're saying is so important. And I've been talking with people more and more often about this on the podcast, is like, therapists have so many skills, and we really limit ourselves, in terms of, what we think we bring to the table, right? 

And I think if we ask a lot of them, "Hey, you know, what do you do well? What kind of skills do you have?" It's really hard for people to name that for themselves. They're almost like, "Ah, I don't know. I know I'm a good therapist." "Okay, great." But what kind of skills, and you know, traits go into being a good therapist and how can those be applicable in other aspects, and journeys, and ventures as a small business owner? Like, there are so many ways to help people that don't require 60-minute chunks of time, one-on-one. 

And the more we get into this work, and burnout increases and people are kind of tired of screen time, or whatever the case may be, I think it's important to start to recognize how much more there is to do in conjunction with doing therapy.

MARQUITA JOHNSON: Absolutely, Patrick? Yeah and I think the creativity, like, therapists are some of the most creative people I see. Like, you know, natural problem solvers, word smiths, you know, so a lot of those talents, and gifts, and skills, and abilities can be easily transformed and transferred into something else. And I like this Gandhi quote is, "Our beliefs become our thoughts, our thoughts become our words, our words become our values, and our values become our destiny." 

Because I'm so, like, mindful of the words that I utilize. I've always been that way. I've always loved like poetry, and speechy, and words, and just knowledge, and so, really leaning into, like, what encompasses you as a therapist and letting that be your superpower. Because the one thing is, there are a lot of people that are therapists, and counselors, and helping professionals, but there's only one you. Like, there's only one Marquita. A lot of therapists out there, there's only one person that's going to do therapy the way that I do it even regardless of the therapeutic interventions and techniques. Like, so you have that superpower. It's your like, secret sauce, or special flavor. Like, you have that, and it's really, like, believing that, leaning into that, and then, sharing it with, you know, the world which, you know, they're waiting. They're waiting for you.

PATRICK CASALE: If we could have like an audio, non-visual mic drop, that would be it right there, after Marquita just said what she said. But so right, you know, they are waiting for you. And I think we get so caught up in this imposter syndrome, this perfectionism of like, someone else is already doing something similar to the idea that I have so why would I try? And I want everyone to think about that. Like, think about how many private practice therapists there are out there even though the idea is the same. Because, like Marquita's saying, you are you, there's only one of you. You have your own unique personality and the way you show up, and I think that goes with coaching, speaking, podcast episodes, therapy, it doesn't matter. 

And I had my same self-limiting beliefs for so long of like, I can't start a podcast, because there are other podcasts out there. What the fuck? That's ridiculous. Like, I can't be a private practice coach, because there are other private practice coaches out there. And again, we attract and repel, right? Like, we are going to attract people based on how we share, how we walk through this life, and how we kind of put ourselves out there. So, I think we really have to embrace that as a superpower and start to recognize that we all have unique offerings that can really be used to support other people.

MARQUITA JOHNSON: Yeah, yeah, and it's so true. When we think in the grocery store the amount of, you know, varieties of bread, or water, a bottle water, you know, it's like, "Oh, yeah, that makes [INDISCERNIBLE 00:25:42] ." Like, it's like, "Oh, yeah, you know, that makes sense." Or, thinking about car dealerships, or, you know, nail salons, like, there are a lot of them and waffle houses. Like, there're two waffle houses literally in my neighborhood. Like, they built one literally, like, you could throw a rock. I'm like, "Why did you put a waffle house right there?" Like, there are literally two waffle houses like in a very close proximity, like, a few seconds from each other it feels like. And so, in that, I think that's a part, as you said, Patrick, a limiting beliefs. Like, too many people are doing it. And it's like, "No."

Really? Is that what you're using to talk yourself out of your destiny like that? Or the perfectionism. That was a part for me being an author. Like, my first book, I was stuck. Like, I write stuff for fun. Like, I'm that person. I have tons of notebooks everywhere just full of my thoughts, full of things that come, you know, to me, and therapy, while I'm doing a session, or while I'm driving, or when I dream, I wake up with that. And so, it's just like, really, so you're just doing nothing with all of that? And I've had to hire a book coach, and there's no shame in my game. Like, I got to hire a coach, because I was stuck. And I wasn't stuck for months. Like, I was stuck for years.

I had done a podcast talking about this book that I was publishing. I had even done a book signing event with no book. Imagine that tons of people fly in and show up, it was a nightmare. I loved that event, and no book. And so, for me, it was just like, okay, like, this is beyond just, like, a little bit of a problem. And I'm like, it's not a writing problem. I have the content. But it was me sitting down with those thoughts, like, going through it, and combing over it, and editing, and worrying about, "Oh, I'm publishing this. Like, people can go back and actually reference this one, and look at this, like, 'Oh, [INDISCERNIBLE 00:27:37].'And like, I'm a therapist, though. Is this going to be good enough? Like, is it going to be a New York's best seller? Or, is it just going to collect dust?" Like, all of these thoughts? 

And it was just like, "Marquita, get the book done, what are you doing?" And my coach was just like, "It doesn't have to be perfect, but it needs to be finished." And he was like, "Really it doesn't even have to be finished." He was like, "You can write a book and just, like, write another one. Like, to be continued." I was like, "You could do that?"

And yeah, so that really helped me, like, push it, and now it's just like, hit submit and just do it. And, you know, now I'm writing a second book. So, obviously, it wasn't like, you know, earth-shattering hard. But, you know, you had to get through that barrier or that roadblock for me.

PATRICK CASALE: Powerful and I always preach that, that it can't be perfect, it just has to be visible, it just has to exist, because it never will be perfect, right? Like, we could go back and revise and edit, and change it a million times. But we can convince ourselves that it is not good enough to put out to the world. But that's our shit, right? Like, that's not everything else. It's just us saying, "Hey, I don't want to be seen this way. I don't know if I'm ready for this. I don't think it'll be good enough. Someone's going to critique it maybe." And then, let's like, yeah, that's real and that can happen. 

Like, I'm not going to lie. I check my podcast reviews, I'm like, "Who's saying negative shit out there?" You know? But at the end of the day it's like, that's not why I'm doing this, so I think it's much more about just having the information out there, because that's what feels useful for us as, you know, creators, and good for you for just allowing yourself to work through that, and now writing a second one. It's really remarkable to hear that, because I've been stuck on my book. So, I'm probably going to be messaging you for your book coach that you've mentioned. 

MARQUITA JOHNSON: And you're inspiring me to do this podcast idea I've been sitting on, like, "All these podcasts? Like, I don't need to do a podcast too." But I love podcasts. This is one of my favorite ways to speak. One is because I don't have to get dressed up, no makeup, and hair, and all this. I'm like, I could just, you know.

PATRICK CASALE: No one's going to see either of us right now, me sitting at my dad's shitty extra office, and like, you know, at the end of the day we prevent ourselves from doing these things for so long. 

I wanted to start this podcast for almost two years. And then, one day, I just put it out there I'm like, "I'm starting it." Like, I told my VA, let's figure it out, and I'm not going to lie to anyone listening. I have never listened to a podcast. I've never listened to my podcast. I've never listened to an episode on anyone else's podcast that I've been on. Sorry, all but I'm still creating it. And people are still listening. So like, you know, that's a good example of how you just need to put yourself out there to the world.

MARQUITA JOHNSON: There you go. Patrick's, very helpful, start that podcast right now.

PATRICK CASALE: Start that podcast, write that book, put yourself out there for conference engagements, like, Marquita has some trainings on how to kind of get booked and how to get some speaking engagements going. So, there are so many resources out there to do the things that you've been dreaming of, but you've been holding yourself back from, because of the narrative that you're not good enough or your information isn't as qualified as somebody else's. Just put it out there. You know, that's always been the message of this podcast. And hopefully, people can really embrace that. 

And it's just powerful to see people doing these things. Like, you inspire me, because I bought your course, like, your little recording course of like, how to get more speaking engagements. I'm not going to lie, I haven't opened the email yet. But like, it's in my inbox. And that is a goal. You know, one day I want to get more of those and I know you're doing that too. And, you know, all of these things, I think we just have to get out of our own ways a lot of the time.

MARQUITA JOHNSON: True, that is so true, because people are willing to buy it, to support you, share your information, but you have to create it. Like, you create it and the people that are supposed to be attracted to what you're offering will come and it's like trust in that process. Like, all this stuff we tell our clients, it's like, yeah, do all of that.

PATRICK CASALE: We are so bad about not practicing what we preach as therapists and like, being like, "Oh, I can give that advice to a friend, or a colleague, or a client, but me? Hell no, I don't deserve that advice, or I can't take that advice. You know, like, it can't work for me."

MARQUITA JOHNSON: Right, yeah, offer yourself that same, like, you know, kindness, that same patience, and, you know, really believing that you can do it. And like Patrick was saying, I still check my Amazon reviews. Like, somebody gave me four stars, like, "What was that about?" I think I was like, I think a part of being a therapist is, you know, we struggle a bit, we're perfectionists, like, wanting things to come out great and, you know, perfect, but, you know, we can procrastinate too on things by wanting this perfect idea. And so, hence, that's why it took this book so long, and people are literally, "I have money to buy this book, where's the book?" [INDISCERNIBLE 00:32:44] I'm working on it, you know? 

And it's like, okay, for the last time someone listened to my podcast, like, episode from years ago, and emailed me like, "Where to purchase the book." I said, "I'm so tired of people asking for this book, like, I have to get it done. Like, I have to get this book done just to say, 'Here's the link.'" Because it's a reminder, like I said I was wanting to do something and that's a core value for me, like, commitment. Like, I see things through, that's a part of who I am. And so, it was also, you know, for me a reminder that you're not seeing this through, and we need to remove whatever barrier's in your way that's blocking you from adhering to a core value of yours. Like, my commitment, my word is my word, and so, for me, that was also like a huge kind of light bulb or aha moment.

PATRICK CASALE: I love that. I hope everyone can hear that and really embrace that, you know, like, I think for so many of us that's kind of the process, is putting it out there then holding ourselves accountable to it by doing so. That's anything I've ever created, this podcast, my practice building, like, my retreat in Ireland. I put it out there. I didn't even know what the hell I was doing. I just put it out there and was like, "Oh, people are interested I guess I need to build the landing page, find the retreat venue, figure out the catering, like, figure out how much I'm going to charge." I created a landing page, sent it out, my VA was like, "You just did that incorrectly. Now, I have to spend all week and fix it." And like, it sold out, right? 

And like, that's the reality, is like, we just have to put our ideas out there and get over our own stuff sometimes, and work through it really hard to allow ourselves to just be vulnerable, and to be brave in terms of how we move in the world. 

MARQUITA JOHNSON: And somebody's waiting for it. I think that's the other part of it, just like with your therapy, like, I started looking at, I spent all this time in school, like, I'm a lifelong learner. I spent years and a lot of money, not to mention. And so, like I had to even deal with the money mindset of sometimes, like, I'm going to spend what on, you know, this conference, or this retreat. And then, I started thinking about these student loans that I ranked up. 

And although, you know, I'm very grateful for my education, it's opened up, you know, plenty of doors, but it's an enormous amount of money. And so, [INDISCERNIBLE 00:34:56] you know, shifting my money mindset a bit. It was like, you can spend this on, like, one course, and, you know, going to a conference, like, where I met Patrick, where I met so many amazing people, like, it may have been, you know, a couple of thousands of dollars. Like, I had to take off work, I, you know, had to get childcare, and doggy care together. I'm a dog [INDISCERNIBLE 00:35:17] too. So, I had to arrange all of that which in of itself being a single entrepreneur, mom is like, yeah, that's enough work. But I'm like that [INDISCERNIBLE 00:35:26] all of that. Like, that's done. I'm definitely going to like Hawaii, or Atlanta, or whatever. Like, definitely Maui, on my way. 

So, for me it was really about making those, like, cost analysis benefits, and really investing in myself, because I'm always going to pay dividends. Like, the knowledge, the connections that I gained there were invaluable. Like, there's no way I could have done all of that while sitting here in Georgia, like doing something virtually. 

Like, being in that space to me was so important, and so fulfilling, and really life-changing. You know, it was worth, if someone said $10,000, like, it would have been worth every single penny,

PATRICK CASALE: I love that. I really, really love that. And it's such a good reframe too to recognize, like, sometimes we have to really invest in ourselves by spending the money. And the return on investment is so huge, because as entrepreneurs we are the vessel in our business, right? Like, so we need to be able to support ourselves. And if that means surrounding yourselves in really powerful environments like that, spending the money on the coaching, spending the money on the courses, like, whatever you need to do to see that long-term return on investment. And that doesn't mean it's going to be a short-term return on investment, it hardly ever is. 

But the amount of empowerment, and motivation, and momentum, and personal growth, and connection, those are invaluable, and if I hadn't gone to Hawaii, Marquita and I would not be sitting here doing this conversation. Because we have to put ourselves in situations and environments that are out of our comfort zones to be able to meet like-minded people, to be able to support one another, and really re-energize ourselves too. 

And I think that's the most powerful part of all of these connections, because you're right, like COVID happens, we're in our homes, our heads are down, we're working in our businesses, don't talk to another fucking human being all day. And connection is so important, connection is so crucial in these industries. And I think just being able to build each other up too, because I believe that your success is my success, and vice versa, and we're going to support one another through our journeys.

MARQUITA JOHNSON: Yeah and there's like, being around people where you don't feel like it's all competitive, like, "Oh, I can't share this." Or, "Ooh, like…" Yeah, that's not me. So, someone's like, "Oh, Marquita, like, how do you do book speaking?" And I'm like, "Oh, here you go. Like, [INDISCERNIBLE 00:37:40]." Like, not share this information, someone likely shared it with me or at least pointed me in the right direction.

And so, for me like giving back is rent for living, it's our ability to expand and grow. And like Patrick was talking about, like, I don't know who [INDISCERNIBLE 00:38:04] and, you know, people that are going to be attracted to what he has, but, you know, I want to help support his vision, and support his dreams, and his hope. And he can do the same in other colleagues, and that way we grow, and we touch all these millions of lives that we never knew would come, you know, through our counseling door or virtually office. 

Like, there's only so many people we could see. Like, I was like, you're limited in that capacity. Like, they're certain many hours in a day, and of those hours that you want to spend or need to spend seeing clients, but starting that podcast, or writing that book, or, you know, creating that course, or becoming a coach, like, you'll reach, you know, even more, so that's kind of, like, the icing on the cake.

PATRICK CASALE: That's a good finishing note. I have so many quotes from you that I have to now consider, like, so many episode titles. I'm like, "Damn, Marquita." Like, you're blowing my mind over here. And I love it. You know, I want to just shout Marquita out, because she's got so much going on, juggling a lot, clearly so passionate about what she does, and who she helps. I got to see her speak at the conference in Hawaii and that was really powerful, and like, just continue to really be excited to see where your career takes you and to see where this journey leads you too, because you're helping so many people in one way or another. 

I do want to have you just tell everyone where people can find more of you, and how they can book your services, and what you offer, so please feel free to take that time.

MARQUITA JOHNSON: Yes, thank you so much, Patrick, for having me on the All Things Private Practice Podcast. And you can follow me. I'm on Instagram, Facebook at Millennial Dating Coach. You can check up my website at millennialdatingcoach.com or millennialc3.com. I offer speaking coach services, so to help really empower, specifically, therapists and counselors, you know, around the arena of utilizing their voice and platform that they have to share it with the masses and really make money, interesting enough for something that you're already doing kind of one-on-one. 

And I have my book, so B12, Being The One: The Relationship Vitamin, it's on Amazon, so you can go grab it and give me a review. That'll be nice. And my new book is launching, hopefully, in March of this year. And this one is really special to me, because it's sharing how I book over 100 speaking engagements in one year, not necessarily advise it for someone, but if you're interested, like, I'll tell you how I did it. And it's like the introvert's playbook. So, really utilizing your superpower of connection as an introvert and storyteller. So, introverts can be really great storytellers just because, again, they like that deep meaningful connection and relationship, and they like to paint a picture, and really get you there in that space with them of an experience. So, definitely check that out. It's on presale. 

And now I have some relationships and dating conversation cards and affirmation cards that I created, which can make great gifts for your relationship or for clients. So, it can really help you in that way. And I think that's about it. All I can' remember anyway. But Patrick, thank you again, for having me here. It's been an absolute joy.

PATRICK CASALE: This is probably one of the more enjoyable podcast episodes I've done. So, this was awesome. And I'm going to put all of Marquita's information in the show notes so people can find all of that information. If you are going to leave a review for her book, make sure it's five stars, you know? That's the way it's got to be. But I do want to thank Marquita, again, really powerful stuff. Check all the things out that she's doing and follow her on social media for more information. 

If you want to learn more about me, book coaching services, take the four-month private practice coaching program with other therapists throughout the country, be a guest on the podcast, join my Facebook group, the website is allthingspractice.com. The podcast is All Things Private Practice and the Facebook group is All Things Private Practice and releasing new episodes every Monday and helping you kind of feel empowered, work through vulnerability, work through imposter syndrome and just take the leap and bet on yourself. See you next week.