Show Notes

Burnout isn’t just exhaustion—it’s a full-body experience, especially for neurodivergent entrepreneurs. After pushing myself past my limits, I’ve been actively doing what it takes to truly honor my boundaries and capacity without completely giving up everything I've built as an entrepreneur.

Here are 3 key takeaways:

1. Respect your limits—even when it’s hard: Pushing through can lead to deeper burnout and longer recovery. Personal and professional boundaries are vital for long-term well-being.
2. Major changes may be necessary for recovery: Sometimes the only way forward is to radically adjust your calendar, commitments, and expectations, even if it means potentially disappointing others (or yourself).
3. Your career is not your whole identity: It’s tempting to define ourselves by our work, but it’s equally important to value rest, restoration, and the messy process of re-evaluating what comes next.

If you’re struggling, give yourself compassion and permission to pause. You don’t have to do it all.

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Transcript

PATRICK CASALE: Hey, everyone. Welcome back to the All Things Private Practice podcast. I am solo today, which is rare on this podcast, I've realized. And I'm going to do a lot more solo episodes, because that's where my energy lies these days, is just being able to exist, as I'm sure a lot of you are in the same boat, given all things that are happening around the world and this country, just doing your best, which is all that you can do.

Today, I am going to talk about burnout and beyond burnout, when we push ourselves so far beyond.

For those of you listening, especially the neurodivergent folks, I am an autistic ADHD therapist and business owner. I have been in autistic burnout for, it's the end of September here in Asheville, meaning we're coming up on our one-year anniversary of Hurricane Helene and everything that happened since that time, which is a traumatizing remembrance in itself, a lot of grief, a lot of overwhelm, a lot of rebuilding, and a lot of loss. So, I just want to offer my condolences and thoughts to everyone out there in western North Carolina and Appalachia.

But I'm using that as a marker, because for me, I've been in burnout so badly since last September. And the reality is that I was hosting all of these events for the last four or five years, and they caught up to me, because oftentimes, especially for those of us who are autistic, autistic burnout is, we are so far beyond our capacity. Our demands far exceed our ability to cope and to deal with the stresses of life, and to sensory soothe, and to take care of ourselves.

And last year, I was already there, going on my September summit in Italy. I kept saying to myself, "All right, this is it, right? Like this is the big event of the year. You've kind of had September 8 circled on your calendar for 15 months since you planned it, because I knew how much energy it was going to take from me. When it's over, you can finally rest, and you can decompress, and you can work through the autistic burnout that you've put yourself in."

And I was supposed to be taking myself on a two-week trip to New Zealand for a Lord of the Rings tour. I was really looking forward to that, nerding the hell out, and just existing in that beautiful country with one of my all-time favorite special interests.

And then, the reality was like, "Just kidding, we're going to have this massive, once in 2000-year catastrophic natural disaster, and your entire life is going to get uprooted alongside everyone else's, and you're not going to go to New Zealand, because how could you possibly go to the other end of the world while this is happening and leave your wife behind? No chance in hell?" And yeah, I just never recovered.

And then, January came, and I started hosting retreats again for the year. So, I had six this year. Belize in January, alongside Gabrielle Juliano-Villani, Ireland in March, Spain in May, with Jennifer Agee, Scotland summit in July, Jennifer. And then, I just finished out Spain and Greece in September, back to back, except I didn't go to Spain, not really. I was in Greece. And I was already beyond burnt out. And I was already having thoughts of like, I shouldn't go to either of these events. I don't have the capacity. I have nothing to offer my guests. I'm going to be irritable. I'm going to be short. I'm going to be really overwhelmed, frustrated, you name it.

And I was. I kind of guilt-trip myself into going. And throughout that trip, you know, it's a combination of things, like the burnout. It was very hot in Greece, like 95 degrees each day, and I don't do well in the heat. I tore two ligaments in my ankle during that trip from one of the cobblestones, I don't know, just stepping wrong. And something was like, "Hey, the universe is trying to tell you this is not a good idea to jump on a plane. As soon as the event ends, fly to Barcelona. Go to the village in Catalonia the next day and get set up for another retreat."

And I said, "But I've committed to it, and I want to finish this out, you know? Like, I want to finish out what I've started. And I don't feel good leaving business partners, or colleagues, or friends hanging in that way where it's like you have to do all the work now."

And I know I have a larger audience, so I sell a lot of the spots. And I felt guilty, like my guests are coming and they want to spend time. And, you know, this could have been a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that they've been saving up for.

And then, we get to Spain. I get sick immediately, sore throat. And I'm like, "Okay, I think I'm fine. I think I can work through this. It's just, I'm feel really run down." A couple days later, or very next day, actually, I start to feel like body aches, chills, and I'm like, "Oh, shit. This is something much more than just like being run down."

And again, my body's way of kind of waving the white flag and forcing me to slow down and stop, which has been necessary for years. And we go grocery shopping, and we get set up for the event the next day. And I'm like, "There's no way I can be around people. There's just no way that I can welcome 25 people right now. I'll give it a day, and hopefully by tomorrow I'll feel better."

That day comes and goes. It's very obvious that I will not feel better. And I quarantine in my room away from everybody for a couple of days. And you know, in that time, it's just this realization of like you have pushed yourself so far beyond your limits that everything starts to break down. And that's not just your physical health, your emotional health, your mental health, your psychological health. Like, everything is combined, and holistically speaking, you know, all intertwined.

And it's just that reality check of like, I got diagnosed as autistic when I was 35, and I'm 39 now. I just celebrated my 39th birthday. And in the last four years, during that time, I have pushed myself far beyond my limits, far beyond my capacity. Throw some internalized ableism into the mix of like, I should be able to keep pushing like I always have. I should be able to push through the exhaustion, the fatigue, the brain fog. And now, the reality of like, "Nope, not today."

And who knows when? Right? Like, I think sometimes we have to confront this. Those of us who have disabling experiences and conditions like ADHD, autism, chronic health conditions, and experiences, long COVID, whatever the experience is, whatever the thing that is disabling is, we have to come to terms with that. And we're not going to outthink it. We're not going to outmaneuver it. We're not going to, like, continue to push through it, and all of a sudden, it's just going to magically go away.

So, the reality is, here we are. And as I'm recording in September, the realization of like, as much as I don't want this ride to come to an end, this thing that I've created, it's that reality check, you know? And it's just limitations, and capacity, and the inability to get off the couch, or out of the bed, or continuing to injure yourself.

Physically, I'm in so much pain all the time. Mentally, I'm exhausted, I'm fatigued. I'm just like so much in this negative energetic space of like, zero capacity, running on fumes, feeling like a husk of a human being, as my friend Shailene would say, is the really reality. And I've felt this way for over a year. And this is the difference between general burnout and autistic burnout is this is not something that is just going to go away.

Major lifestyle changes have to go into effect, and you know, next year, in 2026, I have two events planned in New Zealand, and that's it. I don't have anything else. And I can't. Like, I have to stick to that boundary, because I know that if I continue to push myself, things will go from bad to worse. That means living with disappointing some people, that means with potentially living with disappointing yourself, grieving your limitations, grieving your capacity, grieving the fact that, no, I can't just keep going.

And then, add into the mix that the world in this country is a fucking dumpster fire. And it's just a lot. It's a lot. So, that's just what happens when you push yourself beyond burnout, is your body decides to shut down to let you know we cannot keep doing this. I am done. You're going to continue to injure yourself, you're going to continue to get sick, your energy is going to continuously decrease. And, you know, there's no coming back from it at this point. And it's going to take me a long time.

And I know what I can do is just like, reduce demands, reduce limitations, reduce expectations, saying no to things that come your way, hard to do, really hard to do, if you're just starting out and you're trying to build your career, your audience, following reputation. It's really hard to do when you have the career that I've created with speaking opportunities, and trainings, and coaching programs, and podcasts, and retreats. It's hard. Of course, I want to do all the things I created. And I feel sadness as I say that out loud sitting here.

But I know what I am going to continue to do is the stuff that I can easily access, which is podcasting. I love it both here and Divergent Conversations with Dr. Megan Neff. I enjoy that. And I can do it easily in the comfort of my home. It's a pretty low lift in terms of energy and the scope of things. I know that I can continue to run my group practice, knowing that I have very capable and competent leadership in place where I don't have to be involved in the minutia or the day-to-day so much.

I know I can continue to work on writing my book that's being published in March of 2027, on late in life, autism discovery. Although I question my every second of the day whether or not I should continue doing that, because I feel so much fish out of waterness, in that regard.

I know that I have to take a step back and do a lot of introspection and reevaluation of the things that I want to put in place in my career. And my ADHD side that experiences so much restlessness, of like stillness, and blank space in the calendar, and free time feels really uncomfortable. There's also some trauma response there, of like sitting still, that's intertwined. And that stuff is hard to also come to terms with, because autism needs quiet, and silence, and routine, and structure, and familiarity, and rigidity right now, more than ever for me.

But ADHD says I really don't want that. I want projects. I want something to look forward to. I want excitement. And I'm just going to have to find other ways to get that right now, and to find that dopamine, to find that spark, trusting an intuition that, like, what I need is rest, and restoration, and dormancy. And that this is a season of life, and it's not permanent. But if I continue to push myself, it will likely become permanent. And I think that's a very stark reminder for a lot of us.

So, if you're listening and you have chronic health issues, or autoimmune disorders, or maybe you're autistic ADHD, I expect a lot of you are if you're listening to my podcast, or you have some other form of neurodivergence or some other disability, just to acknowledge that we have to give ourselves grace while we deconstruct our own internalized ableism. And we make sense of what comes next in our careers. And that our careers and our professional identities do not solely define us. And I know that's hard for a lot of us, especially myself.

If you ask me my interests, I'd have a hard time, you know, saying what do I do for fun. I love working. I love creating. But right now, I need dormancy, and I need periods of rest, and silence and quiet. And hopefully, that reignites a spark at some point in time when I climb out of this. It's hard to imagine climbing out, given the political climate, but you know, going to try my best, and I hope you all are too, and just giving yourselves grace and some self-compassion around it to acknowledge like each day is challenging in its own way. Some days are going to be easier than others. There might be periods of time where you feel like you can't create a single thing, or that all you can do is exist. That's okay. I just want to give you that permission if you need it. And if you're like me and need to hear it.

I just realized how long I had gone on without taking the breath, and I can always tell now, you know, my voice and the vocal fry that starts to come in and creep in for my paralyzed vocal cord is like, "Hey, take a breath, drink some water." The basics.

But in reality, I just want to honor this and honor what you all need to. And I'm going to continue to create solo episodes for a while, because I don't have the energy to do any interviewing right now, but I do have the energy to continue to talk about things that I think are important as an entrepreneur, as a small business owner. And if you're just starting out or fairly advanced in your career and looking to pivot or looking to grow, you know, use this podcast as a resource. We've always tried to be really real on here, and really authentic, and really normalize the fear of failure and to doubt yourself, do it anyway. That would be a cool moment if I was like "And sponsored by Polar Premium Seltzer."

But in all seriousness, I'll continue to put out episodes as much as I can right now. I've put out episodes consistently on a weekly basis on this podcast for four years. And batching is the only way I can do that. So, don't think, if you're sitting there at home that you need to be doing this on a weekly or hourly basis. Like, I do a lot of episodes in small chunks of time. And that's the only way that I've been able to stay consistent. And you'll find your own way, and your own groove, and what works for your system and works best for you.

But I really appreciate those of you still here listening. I appreciate everyone who's been allowing for this journey, either from day one or maybe you're a new listener. And I just want to encourage you to just give yourself a little bit of grace right now. The world is really loud, and it can be really hard to be a small business owner, or entrepreneur, and a human.

And with all that being said, I will see you next Saturday on all major podcast platforms and YouTube. Like, download, subscribe, and share. Doubt yourself, do it anyway. And I will see you next week. Thanks for listening.